Amy

I know there are lots of mixed opinions about Amy Winehouse and lots of tragedy in the world but no   one can fail to pay there respects to this extremely talented girl on the news of her death. It is a tragedy. A tragedy caused by the world we live in, addiction, emotion, passion, creation and life. We don't know the causes. Amy had a lot of lovers and fans but people were cruel. A victim of the world of celebrity.
  I was in Tesco when I heard the news (it came on the TV screens at Liverpool street) and I must admit I am devastated. The music (as well as the person) has been a big influence in my life. There was a point when I would listen to her continuously every day for almost a year. Mainly to dance to, to deal with my own problems, to be with people, just to relax. "Back to black" is probably my most listened to album ever.   It came out when I was in hospital for the second time and "Rehab" was a song that we could laugh too. There we were stuck in "Rehab" and, well, it just made everything a bit lighter. Amy was also in the news a lot then.. and we were all interested. She had similarities with us that we could connect to. Obsess over. Anything. Most of all though, I really did love her music. It "feels" so much. You can "feel" her.
  I hope Amy is at peace now, like so many troubled people I know that have died young, hopefully this means the torment has ended. It makes me think of all those wonderful people : Lorry, Fran, Joe, Kate  and all the rest I know who are still struggling with life. "Only the good die young" . Thank you for making me stronger.

You make me more than cry

The star boy in my mind smiles on sound.

Silence glistens as my fractured brain feels whole.

What imagination I must have had to make him live and still the ghost remains?

A spectre of hope – it haunts me.

I cry when I feel what I have lost yet I do not know whether it ever even existed.

The story was there.

Fairytale fiction that found my heart and fixed my thoughts and made me feel free.

Freedom that slowly suffocated my shadow and changed from light to dark in an instant.

Beautiful boy with that pretty face and perfect body that fits just right and closes this space,

In my dreams you still stay,

One day, one day...

One day I will find you and the world will be the right colour again.

To feel found I have to say goodbye.

I miss the kiss. Tears fill my eyes because

I miss the kiss and my face tenses up.

Choking body.

I feel so angry at not knowing what or how or why I feel or why you fucking did this?

Choking frustration at you making this silly little girl so vile.

I want it to be ok.

Live the life...

But we planned so different.

I was the one that believed it. A fault so faultless.. I wish I could be like that again.

I just can't help but hate you.

That star boys ignorance.

You make me more than fucking cry.