Birthday tarts for the the queen of hearts. :)

Happy Birthday to my wonderful, beautiful sister Eleanor.
She is 17 today and we had a great time together picknicking and eating cake in patisserie valerie :)
Eleanor as always looked stunning and sophisticated, I on the other hand massively failed as I frogot to pack my outfit and had to wear my sweaty gym clothes. Oh well there is more to life than jumpsuits and the sun certainly made up for it.
I wonder what she wished for?

My present

make a wish

wished...

I do like a nice bit of eclair :)

... for all the times I had to endure the Simpson's when I lived at home and Eleanor ruled the TV. BIG LOVE

Family

I struggle with feeling sad :(
Lonely or alone...
I surround myself with people.
I just hate those moments in between.
I fond myself reaching for my phone.. having to be in contact with someone or 10 people at once ... always.
I hate the evenings.
I need to have plans...

Tonight I am alone.
But I am NOT alone. EVER.
I know I have many people who care about me.
The most important being my
AMAZING family. My family as in my MUM and beautiful SISTER.

They are amongst my best friends.
My very best friends.
I know they will take anything and always support me.
I can talk about anything even if it is shocking.... I want to be there for them and here anything they have to say.
I would drop anything for my family.

It has been hard. I was not exactly easy growing up and still hate HOME... I put them through a lot and am eternally grateful for their love. Living together is not an option but I would not give up my family for anything.

Thank you you wonderful people.
I love you forever. FOREVER... FOREVER.

Un Chien Andalucia

recurring dreams

My sister is plagued by a dream. She has it every night. She can't sleep for fear.
Every night she dreams of a lady, he is an artist. It is very clear. She finds a book it is full of paintings, painings of mutilated bodyparts. The lady paints them. She is a murderer. This is horrible. Why is my sister's mind doing this to her? She has done nothing wrong. This is not fair.
The subconscious is crazy. I think about ti so much.. Who are we really underneath?
I want to make it better but I have to understand.
Aren't dreams menat to be a warning?

I only ever had one recurring dream... it was about wolves. I like having nightmares because they are exciting. But this is horrible. My dreams only recurr in themes.

a portrait

just a portrait of me by my sister in her art book.



i pref it to any potograph it as character.. more so in life. Maybe i am convereted. Paiting can b btter than moments.