The weekly cunt : Volume 1

From this moment on I propose a new weekly feature to my blog "The coloured cunt!"

One of my birthday presents from Wolfie was the above colouring book.

I will start at the beginning and work to the end.

All designs will become apparent. 

Enjoy.

x

On being twenty

Yesterday I turned twenty.
Twenty years of life.
Breathing this air.
I don't know how I feel.
I didn't want to be twenty.
It terrified me.
I panicked and broke down the day before.
I don't really know why.
Probably because my 19th birthday was the best day of my life.
Because twenty isn't a teenager anymore.
Because life goes so fast.
Because everything changes.
Everything is transient.
But this isn't a bad thing.
It is just fear.
I remember everything about the last ten years of my life so clearly and sometimes I don't feel like I have changed at all. I know I have. But i am still that girl.
I still feel stuck like that sometimes.
I hated being a teenager.
Or at least I don't think I was very happy.
I didn't feel at one.
Or like I fitted in.
I hated school.
I spent two years in mental hospital.
I was sick.
I was depressed.
I fell in love.
I fell out of love.
I fell in love again.
I went up and I went down.
I ate.
I didn't eat.
I cried.
I cried.
I smiled.
I laughed.
I became and artist.
I became an actor.
I grew.
I travelled.
I drew.
I screamed.
I shouted a lot.
I hurt things.
I got hurt.
I hurt myself.
I haven't spent a day doing nothing.
Apart from when I was forced.
I was imprisoned by others / I was trapped by myself.
I achieved.
I found myself.
I lost myself.
It keeps on going.
I drunk.
I drunk to much.
Had bad sex.
Good sex.
Used sex.
I made friends.
I lost friends.
I learnt to talk.
I learnt to listen.
I watched the world.
I still do.
I am changing.
And trying to change for the better.
Made rules.
Broke rules.
Challenged myself.
Always challenged myself.
Grew selfish.
Cared about others.

Change is permanent.
Fear is hard to overcome.
The future is in my hands.
Who knows what twenty means.
I had a great day.

Me at twenty

Birthday tarts for the the queen of hearts. :)

Happy Birthday to my wonderful, beautiful sister Eleanor.
She is 17 today and we had a great time together picknicking and eating cake in patisserie valerie :)
Eleanor as always looked stunning and sophisticated, I on the other hand massively failed as I frogot to pack my outfit and had to wear my sweaty gym clothes. Oh well there is more to life than jumpsuits and the sun certainly made up for it.
I wonder what she wished for?

My present

make a wish

wished...

I do like a nice bit of eclair :)

... for all the times I had to endure the Simpson's when I lived at home and Eleanor ruled the TV. BIG LOVE

Happy Birthday Kurt Cobain

I actually think I love him.. maybe my only true love.
First ever single :

happy birthday mum!

Mother
More than Mother
Lighted Laughter
Soul bound friendship
Love
More LIFE
Everlasting Everything

Blood bound
Mind bound
Love bound
Live bound


Grateful hidden gratitude

No THIS without YOU!

What we have become
What we will BE
What we HAVE been
….. All life!

Beautiful hard life

Mother gave
Mother gave and formed and burned life.

Light
Smile
Talk.

Memories moved
Moving memories
MOTHERED LIFE

Human humility
Mother
Mother
Mother
Mum
Of love.

amazing tights

... and short shorts!

I love these tights by Bebaroque which I were one of my birthday presents from Alex.
The shine shows up in the photographs and you can tell they are tights but I got so many people asking me if teh tattoos were real and so many compliments on the tights.
I was terrified to wear them as I am Queen of the hole making but I bit the bullet and spent all night rolling on the floor without any problems :)!!
Fun times...

These tights can be bought from Bordello in Great Eatern Street for £40
... cheaper than a tattoo?
Or just pretty

happy birthday cake

nothing says birtday like a yummy cake :)
i never got one :(
but then i got jelly and ice cream...
mind you was rather tempted by these profiteroles from patisserie valerie i did have a little nibble but too not would have been torture.. i love yummy food far too much and chocolate... although nNOT better than sex it is just delectible...
i eat far too much of it and if i haven't had any in a day.... i feel deprived!

This cake is ART

birthday

today is my 19th bithday.
Born in Bristlol hospital 6 weeksearly weighing 4 pounds 6 ounces at 11 o,clock on the 27th June 1991...
it has been a journey but I know have a life I have was dreamed of.
I love my family I love the people around me that matter but most of all I love my beautiful fiance/ brother/ best friend/ best thing that ever happened to me.
xxx