The point

I'm strugglin with the point, the purpose to it all. I need some kind of enlightenment some kind of reason otherwise everything just is nothing. I can't just live an die trying to fill my time with some kind of self fulfilling or reasuring purpose, price, gratitude or importance.
I'm painting and it is dead... I feel like I am in playschool. Art is just this human creation fulfilling some kind of blue peter importance. Artits what are artists? ... Political ? Social? ... what is the point!
Politics is just this humanistic imposed nothingness giving people importance or reason.. it fills lives with numbing substance that means nothing! Pointless wasted time to fulfill our cracking society. Society is wasted . . .
We lost track of Survival.. but then what is even the point of that. We all die in the end. We created our purpose , our need for life and we are all so fucking DESPERATE.
So we our born to spawn to keep the process gonig over again and again ..but why... why bother? What a shitty mess! ... The world's dying and all sense is gone . Just a grey mess of false hopes and expectations to keep us going!
Ijust need some kind of reason. Otherwise we are bloodless creatures mimicking some kind of ridiculous living that isn't really living but a story book.

The Tower

THE TOWER
Basic Card Symbols

A tower on a rocky outcrop, a powerful bolt of lightning, one or two figures falling from the tower, sometimes waves crashing below.

Basic Tarot Story

As the Fool leaves the throne of the Goat God, he comes upon a Tower, fantastic, magnificent, and familiar. In fact, The Fool, himself, helped build this Tower back when the most important thing to him was making his mark on the world and proving himself better than other men. Inside the Tower, at the top, arrogant men still live, convinced of their rightness. Seeing the Tower again, the Fool feels as if lightning has just flashed across his mind; he thought he'd left that old self behind when he started on this spiritual journey. But he realizes now that he hasn't. He's been seeing himself, like the Tower, like the men inside, as alone and singular and superior, when in fact, he is no such thing. So captured is he by the shock of this insight, that he opens his mouth and releases a SHOUT! And to his astonishment and terror, as if the shout has taken form, a bolt of actual lightning slashes down from the heavens, striking the Tower and sending its residents leaping out into the waters below.

In a moment, it is over. The Tower is rubble, only rocks remaining. Stunned and shaken to the core, the Fool experiences grief, profound fear and disbelief. But also, a strange clarity of vision, as if his inner eye has finally opened. He tore down his resistance to change and sacrifice (Hanged man), then broke free of his fear and preconceptions of death (Death); he dissolved his belief that opposites cannot be merged (Temperance) and shattered the chains of ambition and desire (The Devil). But here and now, he has done what was hardest: destroyed the lies he held about himself. What's left is the bare, absolute truth. On this he can rebuild his soul.

Basic Tarot Meaning

With Mars as its ruling planet, the Tower is a card about war, a war between the structures of lies and the lightning flash of truth. The Tower, as Wang points out, stands for "false concepts and institutions that we take for real." When the Querent gets this card, they can expect to be shaken up, to be blinded by a shocking revelation. It sometimes takes that to see a truth that one refuses to see. Or to bring down beliefs that are so well constructed. What's most important to remember is that the tearing down of this structure, however painful, makes room for something new to be built.

Thirteen's Observations

No card scares a Tarot reader like the Tower - or the person they're reading for if that person knows anything about Tarot cards. It is however one of the clearest cards when it comes to meaning. False structures, false institutions, false beliefs are going to come tumbling down, suddenly, violently and all at once. What's important to remember as a tarot reader is that the one you're reading for likely does not know that something is false. Not yet. To the contrary, they probably believe that their lover is being faithful, that their religious beliefs are true and right, that there are no problems in their family structure, that everything is fine at work...oh, and that they're fine. Just fine, really.

Alas, they're about to get a very rude awakening. Shaken up, torn down, blown asunder. And all a reader can really do to soften the blow is assure the Querent that it is for the best. Nothing built on a lie, on falsehoods, can remain standing for long. Better to tear it all down and rebuild on the truth. It is not going to be pleasant or painless or easy, but it will be for the best.


THIS WAS MY PAST

transcendence

A weightlessness.
A light.
A floating above.
A flicker.
A spirit.
A breath of air.
Is it there?
A power.
An energy.
A burning of fire.
An aura or colour.
Above godliness.
An immortal trace.


The search for transendence;
To be flying lie a bird or a storm
To leave the rund n run or haunt.
The ability to be.
Anse of pureness divine.
A glowing light pierces the skin.
Wite noise.
Silence.
Power?
A lust, a thirst for the sou or the soul to be sought.
Leavng a feeling of fame behind and gaining everything.
Immortality.
An epemmeral beauty caughht in the net of eternal time.
This is being.
Ultimate holiness.
Too far to touch, too bright to see,
Scentless, yet it ovewhelmsthe senses.
More than a person can bear?
Is it there?