A Fairy Tale

This was me.
I still believe.
Just lost connection.
Get it back again.

To one in paradise... a year on.



The Snowdrop fairy whom my grandma loved

 Today marks a year since the day that my Grandma Pam died in hospital just before she was meant to be coming home. She was the best Grandma ever, so stong, so humble, so fun, so good, pure and loving.
She honestly belivied in faries with me (and that I was one) and I will always remember her as the sweetest person. She honestly loved, loved and loved. I know it is common to remember one like this. But she was truly, truly good. Intelligent but simple. She knew herself.
This year has been hard but I know she would want us all to continue as normal. Never one to make a fuss. I hae seen my mother work herself (virtually) into the gravetrying to orgaise everything, look after my grandad ( who is lovly bu not uite so understanding), organise a move for him, continue with her job and always alwasys stay strong. I am here for her.
  I saw my father show sorrow. My paretns have been divorced for years but he jumed to attention and showed real grief and love at the funeral. This respect is amazing.
  This year I have grown and always remembered Grandma Pam. She helps me. Everytime I have negative thought or want to give up...  I know what she would want.
Thank you.

I believe. I believe. I do believe in faries!

Thou wast that all to me, love,
For which my soul did pine--
A green isle in the sea, love,
A fountain and a shrine,
 All wreathed with fairy fruits and flowers,
 And all the flowers were mine.

 Ah, dream too bright to last!
Ah, starry Hope! that didst arise
But to be overcast!
A voice from out the Future cries,
 "On! on!"--but o'er the Past
 (Dim gulf!) my spirit hovering lies
Mute, motionless, aghast!

 For, alas! alas! with me
 The light of Life is o'er!
"No more--no more--no more"--
 (Such language holds the solemn sea
To the sands upon the shore)
 Shall bloom the thunder-blasted tree,
Or the stricken eagle soar!

And all my days are trances,
And all my nightly dreams
Are where thy dark eye glances,
 And where thy footstep gleams--
In what ethereal dances,
 By what eternal streams!
Alas! for that accursed time
They bore thee o'er the billow,
From love to titled age and crime,
 And an unholy pillow!
 From me, and from our misty clime,
 Where weeps the silver willow!

1835 by Edgar Allan Poe

whitching hour

Out on the halloween weekend and something seriously went spooky.
It wasn't even halloween night (we missed that because of the weekends circumstances)
but witches/ faries/ ghosts or ghouls were defenately at work.

So friday night off we went to the warehouse party of the century... yes drunk, late and a bit tired but we arrived stood outside for a bit and talked to some friends, did a couple of photos for disorder magazine and entered. This is when things started to get spooked... I had a dangerous liason on the toilet came out and met wolfie who was running about like a mad thing, we kept bumping into people and I chatted to a film director. Then i decided to get some water we danced and finally headed for the cloakroom. This is the last thing we remeber before waking up at half one the next day. I mean serious serious serious memory wipe. We have no idea what happened! This is unusual... we didn't drink or take drugs but the next morning... NOTHING. And I mean nothing. There we were completely naked clothes folded up? Earings out... hair clips out home in bed. Me with a massive gash on my back and the biggest bump on my head purseless and short of 100 pounds. Alex with a broken shoe ... pursless, cardless, IDless and phoneless... Our clothes... folded up but covered in mud? Nothing no memory nothing.

We both veel incredibly uneasy and KNOW something happened??? But what? Magic?
Anyway we then walked for 6 hours from East London to sutton.. to be rescued by out parents/
FAIL!!

nymph

Magical water worker
Sex charger
Water flowing
Stone carved, stone cracking
Damaged goods
Dancing, swaying, mystic, singing
Ancient ruin
Priceless precious, sacred serephn
Breastless beauty, battered body.

Danger calling
Throbbig fountain
Limbless lines, frustration forms
Forceless force, shrine of sins.
Bloodless breatg
Col hard palour
Deep delusions, historic amour.

She who knows more years than man
Earths craetion, trancendent crown...
Twining round the men she holds
Nothing more than lovers old
Stark hard light hits her hard
No more bleeding, veinless aims.

Eyes who watch don't understand this is a princess, goddess crowned...
One of three a middle ground
Triad, trinity, triplets then
Seperate from us mortal men
What she is is free from flam.

Carved by some long gone hand
There remains element in sand.
A grain of wonder a wasted world
Wistful glance at whisperng land.

What we know is nothing as of yet
This monument a mark of knowledge, hopes and dreams.

a walk in the woods...

I have ended up back home for the weekend becuase I got locked out of my flat but it was a nice chance to get some country air and a walk in the woods...





and wolfie...

giraffe fairy

... an illustration for a Mia Jafari scarf print I am entering in a competition via Sketchbook magazine. Hey... I'm no experienced illustrator, it's hand drawn and I'm not going to win but really it was a exuse to draw a cute animal (m favourite) with wings...
It took up five minutes and it ismy new wall friend. I will call her Cloudia.....

nude

degas


... and I am again off to life draing at the lovely 40 winks for an eeing of late midsummer madness. what a lucky girl I am :)

midsummer

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding, but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend;
If you pardon, we will mend.
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearnéd luck,
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long:
Else the Puck a liar call.
So good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
(puck A midsummer night's dream)

I wonder what tonight has in store.. mischief and magic...