Painting in petals of the past

Stalk as dry as her cracking brittle bones
Scraping at the corners of the air,
Scratching the rim of the replacement vase.
The cold shiny steel sucking the stained roses red bloodless life.
Their fragile state holds time
Moves place.
The transient shadow cast on the new greying wall wavers hitting cold damp air,
Floating through dimmed window shattered plate, pane of glass,
Bladed past.
One petal remains.
Hanging on as if clinging to some purity lost in new found innocence.
White overpowered by sordid bleeding blight.
These roses are old and belong to a different me.
There is a pink to the grisly rain and these emblems need to run free.
The petals in my palm shiver on the wind as they scatter into the swirling sea.
The earth takes on a new form
Painting patters of pain that is, that are, too pretty to see.
Sinking deeper and darker the gentle flash fades away.
Waves of pleasure hit and eb and flow in new found ecstasy of my lost found mind.

When I am dead I want to be decapitated and hung in a museum..

It really annoys me that nearly everything at The Natural History Museum is plastic. The dinosaurs are a lie.

Fountain

The water tumbles in joyful spasms.
            Idiosyncratic waves of reflection.
Funnel. Tap.
Not known why but this water is a world of something else.
We gather and congregate around these monuments
                  as if to fill us with a hint of the spring of
life.
Violent splashes still soothe in the mid day sun.
Green envy is not something I tend to feel,
          Especially for the emotionless...
But
This water us free,
yet freedom is constrained
as it is funnelled
    and forced
upwards then to choose its own natural form and then
          
escape the world.

Who cared for I am happy?
Circles appear before my eyes and calmness emulates.

Praying for Japan

I don't think there is anybody who isn't currently aware of the devastating crisis happening now in Japan.
It is a time where we must all pray or wish for those directly and indirectly affected as well as for the world itself. This is a time when humanity must pull together.
Unfortunately humans are of the nature that they are always causing crisis themselves but when the natural world turns on us and fights back this has to be a wake up call. I am no expert on natural disasters, climate change e.t.c but the world itself is a powerful force that I feel we has humans all too readily ignore! We cannot continue to fight against our planet.
I am not one to speculate in the "end of the world" or live in fear of 2012 ( if only because that would mean the remainder of my life was spent waiting for the end!) but there is no doubt that one way or another we are destroying our planet. Yes there have always been natural disasters from volcanoes to floods but it does seem that the scale of events is getting far more epic and unpredictable. It is not so long ago since our last great Tsunami ... happenings that we seem unable to predict in our scientific and measured world.
Now on to the nuclear crisis. We seem to have made this disaster worse by throwing the deadliest of weapons into this sideless war. Again it seems our atomic capabilities have been thrown back at us and yet again Einstein would be turning in his grave. This is no firing of missiles or atomic bomb but the result of the damage to the nuclear plant caused by the devastation is still incredibly dangerous. I understand that nuclear science is forefront and could hold the road to better energy resources and helpful sciences but the danger, wars, power battles and destruction seem to much. Humans have not got capable hands to handle such material.
We have nothing to do now but raise support, wish and pray for those in Japan and for the world itself. Humans have already shown incredible goodness and proved they can work for the greater good. It is heartbreaking to here of the workers in the nuclear plant fighting for everyones safety. Heartbreaking and beautiful. We in England are incredibly lucky to be safe and currently unaffected (as a country physically) by these natural happenings but we do not know what is in store.
It is hard for me to write about this because I , of course, no nothing but I do still care. About this and many other events.
Every time something like this happens we have a wave of perspective forced upon us. I would just like to ask that we try to make this remain with us and also that we don't forget about all of this in a couple of weeks. The rebuilding in Japan will go on for years.

Water

...another experimentation with sound and image.

Themes of LOVE

a walk in the woods...

I have ended up back home for the weekend becuase I got locked out of my flat but it was a nice chance to get some country air and a walk in the woods...





and wolfie...

On not having a camera.... (and reading)

I just spent the whole of Reading festival whithout a camera... whithout taking a single picture... without stepping back for a second. This is not me!
I am telling you it was hard... I gazed at things loningly... wishing to magic a camera in thin air; a pile of rubbish that looked like a corpse, licking flames, seas of mud, spotty socks.... but to no avail!Thse pictures are stuck in my mind.
I decided uite erly n to not take eithr of my SLR's ..this would be stupid, although, lookingback I feel like nothing woul have happened to them I wouldn;t have been able to mosh to gallows, stand in the rain, roll on the floor... do anything whithout risking my cameras life! I did attempt at taking an old compact camera but it didn; work and after a breaf moment of error I decided to challenge myself and yes I am pleased I survived. Actually, it as probably a good thing for the rest of he world; no enless pictures of me and alex documnting our looks!
On Reading.... Ok it was Reading! nortunatey the ay before I went and the day I went it rained and it fucking poured... I dreaded it..stepping into the mud.. beign continuosly cold, sleepingin a deep brown sludgy mess... and yes was liek this but I had alex to kep me going. I can not explain how lovely it was tosnuggle up in a tent with the person you love knowing that if it wasn't for him you would be hating every second instead of feeling comfortably warm inside.
Reading passed incredily quickly... I flited between tipsy and sober danced, danced, danced.
Highlights would be the incredible Adam Green who's theatricallnes live is unmissable. He as amazing! A "cabaret strokes"... utterly hilarious! Libertines took my breath away! Oh Pete is amazing a absolute genious but one prolem; why is he getting so massively fat? I know it is politically horrible but he is starting to look like he has Down's Syndrome??? Sorry!!!
Arcade Fire where spell binding... everyone was still a total silent audience swept in by their magic. Unfortunately Alex missed them! Being us.. we are bith way too emotional and the tiredness and hunger cret in and Alex freaked out when he couldn't find me and missed the whole set. I feel terrible because they are his favourite and I spent the vast majority of it in silent tears but all is mended apart from the fact that he missed one of the best gigs I have ever been to!
Fools gold and Harlem where lovely... aart fom the ound levls all wrong! Gallows mad! Yes " I ain't know puss and am mental!" I divied into the crow fully attired in roses and threw myself about to my hearts contenet... went down down down and up up up. Caribou my knew favourite band... were good but not as good as at Field Day and The Drums...unfortuantly I would rather not mention them!
I moaned about stid things light heartedley but had a fab time... emotionally it was a rollercoasted but so is my life. Me and Alex were well me and Alex...
unftuantely occasionally we turn into not me and Alex and that is when the problems start... we are determined to changead sort out our ridiculous moods and destructive behaviour. We love each ther more than anything ..unfortunately ocassinally we feel too much! lso unfortuanely we are bith extrememley skinny adn our most notable problem is hunger. Despite stuffing myself with crisps, nuts, chocolate, fruit, sweets, coffee, cheese, chips, chilli, noodles, chicken and crepes... as much food as I could get my hands on... (Plus the alchohol) I still mamaged to loose five pounds in four days and ws constantly starving. I have this problem wher eI just need to eat and eat and eat! Alex on th other had..just an;t be bothered to eat... or gets beligerant and wot.. thisis when our bodies get desperate and we "loose" it. At least we know this....
But hey I had a fab time.. and here is to mud, starvation, smelly toilets, arguments.,spilt drinks. love, tent sex, being lost, overpriced food, over emotions, tiredness, alcohol, fires, sore feet, snuggling, wetness, coldness, talking, dancing and fucking good music!!!

Star dust

'And it came to me then. That we were wonderful traveling companions but in the end no more than lonely lumps of metal in their own separate orbits. From far off they looked like beautiful shooting stars, but in reality they're nothing more than prisons, where each of us is locked up alone, going nowhere. When the orbits of these two satellites of ours happened to cross paths, we could be together. Maybe even open our hearts to each other. But that was only for the briefest moment. In the next instant we'd be in absolute solitude. Until we burned up and became nothing.'
from sputnicks sweeheart


we really are no more than dust and energy a life built out of nothing has to be something and even for the briefest moment we have to make it something

Oceans

I think water is incredible. Its power overwhelms me. Its diversity. It fills me with a feeling of awe and wonder. It makes me feel peaceful. It seems so wise. My favourite times are summer times by a sea or lake... look out across the water.. here it, feel it.. sense it. It has a voice a personality. Water has seen so much and it all has been part of one big moving body: oceans, rivers, rain clouds, inside trees..inside us. It is life. Water is alive. It is a mystery that has fascinated me for years. As a child I had a stron dgesire to find out the secret of water. Realistically now I know I am no great scientist and probably never will be but in a way now i don't want to know its inner truth. I see it as a conscious being, delving into it's mind may be way too dangerous. How can we as mere humans expect to understand something so great and so all powerfull. Something with the ability to shape and create anything... or destroy everthing. What makes water angry or suddenly turn? What makes water make us feel? What makes water starve or nourish... It has to be a mind! Not like ours, but a great mind. The soul of water; the basis to the universe.



WATER
by Keith Tyson
"Nature's better at painting than I am"