From this moment on I propose a new weekly feature to my blog "The coloured cunt!"
One of my birthday presents from Wolfie was the above colouring book.
I will start at the beginning and work to the end.
All designs will become apparent.
Enjoy.
x
Showing posts with label body. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body. Show all posts
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Thursday, 19 May 2011
The Eye
The eye. Not just a coincidence. More than a gateway but a key? Bound up in snaky skin the eye lets out the light. The knowledge of within. Strung up substance becomes a meaningful existence… I wish I could peel away the rest and escape from this agonising excuse for a body. Blood isn't worth it. The light is so blindingly bright it is painful to let it in. Burning Breath. Velvet ebony curtains would be easier to shut than these feeble bits of fickle flesh. Could this life be too much for the soul? We all feel the need to escape! Sometimes the eye watches moments too catastrophic to comprehend and you can' t lock it shut. But could the world be beautiful? The eyes are truth; they aren't hiding anything.
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Phoenix
My brains are burning in the desert
My skin blistering, grating, bloody grin.
My mind is boiling and broiling twisted in the midday sun.
Lying in a coma; paralyses from my heart.
The slow way to die...
Can't end in twisted cries.
Maybe if I burn the outside off i will find the inside again.
You lost my mind.
Whimpering little girl. She shouldn't be in the heat. But this will dry up the tears.
Sweat out the weakness. Soak up the pathetic snivels. Be cool again.
Red
Raw
Ruin
My bleeding head will be cured this way.
Drain it dry.
Crack the skin and be born again.
Phoenix
My skin blistering, grating, bloody grin.
My mind is boiling and broiling twisted in the midday sun.
Lying in a coma; paralyses from my heart.
The slow way to die...
Can't end in twisted cries.
Maybe if I burn the outside off i will find the inside again.
You lost my mind.
Whimpering little girl. She shouldn't be in the heat. But this will dry up the tears.
Sweat out the weakness. Soak up the pathetic snivels. Be cool again.
Red
Raw
Ruin
My bleeding head will be cured this way.
Drain it dry.
Crack the skin and be born again.
Phoenix
Thursday, 14 April 2011
The Eye
From day to day
Looking
Looking
Looking
Open and see
Disconnect from the body and keep
the secret locked inside.
Open and shut
Open and shut
Open and shut
What the glass sees it must hold.
Flashing glimpses
Hazy murmurs of sin.
White light.
White stark light.
The eye is running being chased by storms or searching for those within rain.
Searching for life?
Don't turn it off
Don't turn it off.
This secret can't be missed.
Precious memories through bloody gauze.
Disconnected eye.
Jewel of separation.
Camera catches what you don't know.
I didn't see
See and act.
Mirror
Mirror
Mirror
Cracked glass
Hedonistic glare
I can't see
it anymore
Right or
Wrong.
Just experience.
Lustful landscape of life?
HA HA YOU MAKE ME LAUGH
Do I ignore the facts and take it in behind the mask…
This obscurity that I don't understand.
Glimpse
Hidden Glimpse
Eyelash
Skin
Gory scarred skin.
The Eye
Don't shut it
Don't shut it
Don't make me shut out the light.
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
White space (which would be the wrong description)
I am sure I have been dead before. Whether this means I have lived before I don't know? Not that I know what constitutes living?
As I get older I get more disconnected from my past. By my past I mean that time when I didn't yet exist as this body.
Saying it is a memory would be wrong. I don't know what happened. It is the ghost of a feeling you see out of the corner of your eye. Something that makes you or I feel uneasy. It is a noise I can't describe. Like "white" noise but NOT that. It doesn't exist here. So I can't explain the sound. The colour is the same. Stare at a bright light for too long and you see those circles. Circles of light but it is a colour. It isn't that. Like a glare of a glow. Blink too much and you almost see it... but you don't. Or surround yourself with snow and the sun. Any how it is a colour or a light that I can't describe but I know it and I remember it and when I go to this place I know I am living somewhere else.
It doesn't feel nice. It feels tense. Tension. I DON'T like tension.
But whatever it is. It is because it is not in the now.
I am not sure it would feel so bad if I could catch it and stay there. Maybe because it is non existence. Or as close as to that you can get. Because like I said. It is a before or after. An eternity. Not that I know that.
It is like floating through nothing. Not in a body. I can't see my body. And it is more a suspension that a feeling of movement. Or maybe moving too fast to feel it? Or feeling it a bit like when your stomach jumps in a lift. Falling. Falling. Falling.
I am more disconnected now. The day is too busy and my mind too blank or bleak. I can't quite reach my childhood.
I think I used to be able to fly. I am not joking. I just used to be able to lie back and propel myself around. Hovering above the floor always backwards. I seriously believe this and remember it. In my old house. The one I first remember.
I can't do it anymore. I don't know when I stopped . This makes me sad.
As I get older I get more disconnected from my past. By my past I mean that time when I didn't yet exist as this body.
Saying it is a memory would be wrong. I don't know what happened. It is the ghost of a feeling you see out of the corner of your eye. Something that makes you or I feel uneasy. It is a noise I can't describe. Like "white" noise but NOT that. It doesn't exist here. So I can't explain the sound. The colour is the same. Stare at a bright light for too long and you see those circles. Circles of light but it is a colour. It isn't that. Like a glare of a glow. Blink too much and you almost see it... but you don't. Or surround yourself with snow and the sun. Any how it is a colour or a light that I can't describe but I know it and I remember it and when I go to this place I know I am living somewhere else.
It doesn't feel nice. It feels tense. Tension. I DON'T like tension.
But whatever it is. It is because it is not in the now.
I am not sure it would feel so bad if I could catch it and stay there. Maybe because it is non existence. Or as close as to that you can get. Because like I said. It is a before or after. An eternity. Not that I know that.
It is like floating through nothing. Not in a body. I can't see my body. And it is more a suspension that a feeling of movement. Or maybe moving too fast to feel it? Or feeling it a bit like when your stomach jumps in a lift. Falling. Falling. Falling.
I am more disconnected now. The day is too busy and my mind too blank or bleak. I can't quite reach my childhood.
I think I used to be able to fly. I am not joking. I just used to be able to lie back and propel myself around. Hovering above the floor always backwards. I seriously believe this and remember it. In my old house. The one I first remember.
I can't do it anymore. I don't know when I stopped . This makes me sad.
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
The Eye
From day to day it stays
Looking
Looking
Looking
Open and seeing.
Disconnected from the bloodless body and keep the secrets inside.
Open and shut.
Open and shut.
Open and shut.
Open and shut.
What glass sees it must hide.
Flashing glimpses
Hazy murmurs of hedonistic sin.
White light.
White stark light.
The eye running being chased by chaos
Stormless searching -
The storms eye.
Searching for visible life.
Don't turn it off.
Don't turn it off.
Secret's can't be kept.
Memories not so precious when pushed though bloods gauze.
Disconnected I.
Disconnected eye.
Jewless separation.
Camera catches what you don't know.
I didn't see.
See or
ACT?
Mirror. Mirror. Mirror.
Crack
Crack
Crack
Glass glare.
I can't see it anymore.
Right or Wrong?
Right or Wrong?
Oh well I will just put it down as experience.
A lustful landscape on life.
Do i ignore the facts and just shut it in behind the mask?
This obscurity that I don't understand.
Flowing Glimpses
Hidden Glimpses
Eyelash
Skin
Flesh
Bone
Blood
Skin
Iris
Blood
Skin
Skin
Gory scarred skin.
The eye.
Don't shut it.
Don't shut it.
Somebody turn out the lights.
Looking
Looking
Looking
Open and seeing.
Disconnected from the bloodless body and keep the secrets inside.
Open and shut.
Open and shut.
Open and shut.
Open and shut.
What glass sees it must hide.
Flashing glimpses
Hazy murmurs of hedonistic sin.
White light.
White stark light.
The eye running being chased by chaos
Stormless searching -
The storms eye.
Searching for visible life.
Don't turn it off.
Don't turn it off.
Secret's can't be kept.
Memories not so precious when pushed though bloods gauze.
Disconnected I.
Disconnected eye.
Jewless separation.
Camera catches what you don't know.
I didn't see.
See or
ACT?
Mirror. Mirror. Mirror.
Crack
Crack
Crack
Glass glare.
I can't see it anymore.
Right or Wrong?
Right or Wrong?
Oh well I will just put it down as experience.
A lustful landscape on life.
Do i ignore the facts and just shut it in behind the mask?
This obscurity that I don't understand.
Flowing Glimpses
Hidden Glimpses
Eyelash
Skin
Flesh
Bone
Blood
Skin
Iris
Blood
Skin
Skin
Gory scarred skin.
The eye.
Don't shut it.
Don't shut it.
Somebody turn out the lights.
Thursday, 3 February 2011
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
disease
I don't know quite how to start or what to say, how to express how I feel or what I feel... I am not entirely sure.
Another life cut short, another beauty always remembered, another wonderful girl taken by an evil illness.
Mental illness is little unerstood and even more misunderstood.
I spent alot of my early teens trapped in a world I didn't understand, caught in the grip of what can be broadley described as anerexia. I never feel this title can quite be defined and what it means is not definitive, all I know is it is sadness. I spent a good two years in impatient hospital living in what I percieved to be hell being controlled and manipulated by firstly my thoughts and then the people around me "helping me". There were times when I didn't want to go on... everything that mattered to me it seemed was being taken away... I wanted to be nothing... I was made to be something.. but something I didn't want to be and then nothing again.... not me!
As humans we are surronded by slogans and articles in the media about weight and beauty that sadly lead anerexia to seem shallow or a life choice. Celebrities are branded anerexic for being thin when really this has little to do with it... they are not commiting suicide .. fr them it is life.
It is deadly cycle hard to escape .. living a life of starvation and depression, fighting a system, two mids, one hated body.. it can seem there is little else important than that... no world beyond anerexia, death and hospital.
This is not about my story or what is right or wrong however it is a thank you a relfection on how lucky I am. I saw m life, I saw what I wanted, I fought and I fight and continue fighting. I love my life... I chose to live each day battlng my thouhts, learning to accept, to love food, trying to loose obsessions but I can see I can see how easily this could not have been how strong the illness is, how deceptive and how hard everything is to believe.
This i a rememberence to all I knew who have sadly passed away to anerexia and depression. How I dream they are set free and a wish to all those I don't know and all who are still suffering.
Much love
Effy
xxx
Another life cut short, another beauty always remembered, another wonderful girl taken by an evil illness.
Mental illness is little unerstood and even more misunderstood.
I spent alot of my early teens trapped in a world I didn't understand, caught in the grip of what can be broadley described as anerexia. I never feel this title can quite be defined and what it means is not definitive, all I know is it is sadness. I spent a good two years in impatient hospital living in what I percieved to be hell being controlled and manipulated by firstly my thoughts and then the people around me "helping me". There were times when I didn't want to go on... everything that mattered to me it seemed was being taken away... I wanted to be nothing... I was made to be something.. but something I didn't want to be and then nothing again.... not me!
As humans we are surronded by slogans and articles in the media about weight and beauty that sadly lead anerexia to seem shallow or a life choice. Celebrities are branded anerexic for being thin when really this has little to do with it... they are not commiting suicide .. fr them it is life.
It is deadly cycle hard to escape .. living a life of starvation and depression, fighting a system, two mids, one hated body.. it can seem there is little else important than that... no world beyond anerexia, death and hospital.
This is not about my story or what is right or wrong however it is a thank you a relfection on how lucky I am. I saw m life, I saw what I wanted, I fought and I fight and continue fighting. I love my life... I chose to live each day battlng my thouhts, learning to accept, to love food, trying to loose obsessions but I can see I can see how easily this could not have been how strong the illness is, how deceptive and how hard everything is to believe.
This i a rememberence to all I knew who have sadly passed away to anerexia and depression. How I dream they are set free and a wish to all those I don't know and all who are still suffering.
Much love
Effy
xxx
Monday, 8 March 2010
conscience
Does the mind rule the body or the body rule the mind?
I think they are insperable. The mind is the body. Pain is always physical whatever the cause. We love becuse of physical things and yet we do things that feel.
I can be won ovr by physical things, yet, I always no what I should be doing... I chose to ignore it. When one is ill the other one doesn't work.
Without a body you can't have a mind and without a mind ou can't have a body. Who even knows what these two things are. We are just beings. We aren't seperated. Sante is both.
But sometimes it is head or heart...
Do we have to decide?
I think they are insperable. The mind is the body. Pain is always physical whatever the cause. We love becuse of physical things and yet we do things that feel.
I can be won ovr by physical things, yet, I always no what I should be doing... I chose to ignore it. When one is ill the other one doesn't work.
Without a body you can't have a mind and without a mind ou can't have a body. Who even knows what these two things are. We are just beings. We aren't seperated. Sante is both.
But sometimes it is head or heart...
Do we have to decide?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)