We did something terrible

We burned each other with blades
Cut out our hearts in our flesh
I drank your blood and you drank mine
Carved our love in to your chest
Scarred my skin with your magic
Cut out our soul
And split our eternity in to two.
Darkness we did not know.
Bad blood.
Bad bad bad bad blood.
Your name burns in my body.
Our destiny is trapped.

Eternity

"The bond of blood can backfire. Using blood binds you to the intent and outcome of the magick work, in the spiritual sense.  Blood magick can be eternal and forever through lives and deaths and time upon time.  Be careful with it.  Forever is an immeasurable amount of time.

A blood brother, or sister, is a partner for life, specifically this one, and this one only.

To bind oneself to someone for all of eternity is a HUGE decision.  Truthfully, I advise against any such bond.  As our spirits manifest in new bodies over eons of time our spirit grows and changes.  There are infinite possibilities and binding yourself for eternity, to anyone, reduces the scope of your future lives."

What we did we did not know.

I don't think there is anyway back.

We were playing with magic.

And I know this bind is true. 

Dracula : Pages from a Virgin's Diary

"A brave man's blood is the best thing for a woman in trouble."

Chastise your son for their is no hope.

Candy says...

20 Chadworth house
Home of Elizabeth Ophelia, Alexandra Randall, Tim Holloway and James Holden
2011

The yearly dose of road kill...

Arts and Crafts

What one chooses to wear to a blood bath.

Black hole

You fucked your little sister when she was way too young to understand. You sucked her innocence away without warning her or stopping to think that what you were doing would cause her to die and bleed her soul of beauty. Her world went black. She used to cry to the stars because the city was grey but now your thirst had fucked out any last light. Her crimson blood lay tied up in bonds of  dark lies and inky shadowy spectres haunted her hell. She didn't understand how this dark snake had managed to swallow her whole and with your vicious blows digested her truth until she didn't want to know anymore. This black hole is endless and there us no chance of lightness. Tunnels of dark gloom stifle her throat and strangle her joy. The sun in pointless. She had nothing left. No return to life away from your mangled cunt.

sickness

Something is underneath

The Eye

From day to day it stays
Looking
Looking
Looking
Open and seeing.
Disconnected from the bloodless body and keep the secrets inside.
Open and shut.
Open and shut.
Open and shut.
Open and shut.
What glass sees it must hide.
Flashing glimpses
Hazy murmurs of hedonistic sin.

White light.
White stark light.
The eye running being chased by chaos
Stormless searching -
The storms eye.
Searching for visible life.

Don't turn it off.
Don't turn it off.

Secret's can't be kept.
Memories not so precious when pushed though bloods gauze.
                                                                                              
Disconnected I.
Disconnected eye.

Jewless separation.
Camera catches what you don't know.
I didn't see.
See or
ACT?

Mirror. Mirror. Mirror.
Crack
Crack
Crack
Glass glare.
I can't see it anymore.
Right or Wrong?
Right or Wrong?

Oh well I will just put it down as experience.
A lustful landscape on life.

Do i ignore the facts and just shut it in behind the mask?
This obscurity that I don't understand.
Flowing Glimpses
Hidden Glimpses

Eyelash
Skin
Flesh
Bone
Blood
Skin
Iris
Blood
Skin
Skin
Gory scarred skin.

The eye.
Don't shut it.
Don't shut it.
Somebody turn out the lights.

Chains

Pulsing tendon holding and churning
Chords of freedom we cannot break
Chains binding our wrists
our ankles
Our hearts
Our minds.
Wrapped together in discordant harmony
Pulling - a futile effort wrapped in the ties that are there.
Precious metal gripping bondage dreams.
Time is useless
Time apart - isn't real.
Hearts of human steal
Yet hearts so real
You know what you did
No words are necessary yet you need to scream them from your lungs.
You broke something
But you can't break these ropes of fire that bind my blood and keep my mind alive.

Both twisted and struck and pulled at these chains
Stabbing heart.
Stabbing blood.
What disastrous torment we caused ourselves in this immature mess!
These chains don't break
Chains of choice but not chains of meaning
They are just there holding us in some god forsaken purgatory
Pull apart and spring back together
Twist and turn
blood bound
mind bound
body bound
heart bound
soul bound binds
Don't break.
Don't break.
Don't break.
No escape.

Water

...another experimentation with sound and image.

Themes of LOVE

a first attempt at trying to get this nightmare baby ot of my head...

... this is going to have to be a project.
It is HAUNTING ME

Blood nymph

Blood drips

Sickly scents of sacred sapphire


                                                      Streams.


Her blood drops
                        Diving and dreaming
Beautiful Blindness


An
     END to the suffering
The search for sensation

To be loved

To be loved

To be loved

The purpose to be loved.

                                     The pain dissipated with the scarlet poison as it stains the white
page

Page after page.
A search for some kind of soul
To cling to
                To live.


TRANSCENDENT BLISS

She cries
She screams
BLISS






No feeling.






Ancient ancient dazed marble veins
Bloodless blood
Pureness Cleansed
Pureness Cleansed


Censored Pureness

The Carcas Van

As i pull up and park I dread the sight that has become so familiar;
The sickening smell so haunting but turning the everyday.
Splatters of sepia septic blood blending in to grey polluted air.
The van gaping and ready to gobble the grotesque forms and figures
looms.

Flung over dirty back staining stench drenched suit...
Fleshy mounds of putrid fat hard to seperate from the living,
Veiny gelatonous pulsing body lumped over the daily grind.

A treat for consumption.

A disturbing delectability for the eyes, the nose, the mind.
Cold. Hard. Slaughter.
The distaste of the dead.
Not a head just body after body after body,
Misformed mountain.
Cracked ribs in broken trolly beign whelled past it's end.
Rotting, wretched creature, yet not,
The soul has past?

Yet... so in human. SO ROUGH. MORE THAN I CAN TAKE.
Clinicality lost, crulety lost, just pure objecthood.
The objecthood of the dead.
The objecthood of the living.
The dread
The dead
Oh how I hate that bloody bitter carcas van.

the knife

The Knife
by Jan Saudek

..a picture with a story, a picture with myster, atmosphere, lust, narrative, emotion, coldness, love, beauty and ugliness.
There are many reasons for this picture.
What is yours?

surreal dreams or reality?.. and the case of the stabbed heart....

I always have vivid dreams.. always have (hopefully - because what would life be without them?) always will! Even so, recentley my dreams have taken a far more obvious turn. My daily life is all too apparent. Every night without fail my dreams are heavily linked to my reality providind a macabre twist on the real and presenting the worrying question of why? ... Is my brain fnding the every day too hard to handle? or is my conscious and subconscious intertwining evermore into a world filled of madness.
Anyway mostly these dreams have been interesting/ disturbung / odd but perhaps usual/ handleable / not that affecting but one of them is sending my mind on a turn for the worst. This however may not be the dreams fault but the reality. ..
Ok so now for the case of the stabbed heart. I live very near an extrememlet large sainsbury's and visit it nearly every day. There is an archway that you walk through to get to it. I walk through this archway normally battling heaps of people, tramps, rain... ok it is not the nicest of places but a couple of day ago I was walking through and there on the grate beside me was a heart. A very large real hear onnected to several other organs from god knows what. It lay on the gate dripping blood looking like this great heaving mes and in the centre sicking up out of it was a knife, a silver knife. Now the heart didn't suprise mett much thre are llotsof halal butcer around and I frequently see trucks full of carcsses and here the meat knives grinding bones. All teh same it was a stomach churning view and I quickly hurried by hoping it would be cleared up. However, this image is haunting me! The next day it was still there (yesterday) and I seemed to be the only one that noticed it, a big puddle of bloody rain around it. It seems so symbolic, the question is raised is it really symbolic? Is this a message? Who knows but to me it seems an incredibly bad omen!
Anyway last night was a tough one. The fire alarms jammed and they wouldn't sto. My sleep was broken and frequent and I had many dreams all obviously connected to my day. The wierdest and most haunting however was one hard to describe. I was in a world though surrounded by vains and throbbing muscles and membranes thy wher alive and swallowing peopleup. Thehart ws spreading with all it's sinewy tissue everywhere and was a thing of great fear. Cannibals reighned and people walked about like zombies. I was on some kind of quest that I cannot remember clearly but one things for sure. This heart is affecting me. I can't go to sainsbury's, I cant stop thinkning about it, I feel contantly nervous sick and on the edge and have a strong sense of impending doom. I am even beginning to question whether it was ever actually there?
.... After all impailed hearts wouldn't exactly be all that alien to me. My art having a strong link which I do not fully understand....

bleeding crumpled skulll

Repeated...

Brother fucker
Blood cutter
Hater
Traitor
Open broken scars and
Push it in
Twist and stab
Hit her hard
Held tight
We’re up for a fight.
Sins are wins
Stab the eyes with moans and cries
Waiting for a time when love becomes a crime.
Rape is desire
Sisters are physical
Stimulation
Nervous system
Sending shudders through your skin
Ripping
Slashing
Reaching in.
Darkness deeper than desire
Passion burning amber fire.
Strangled though
Suffocating silence
Kiss the snake
Do not wake.
Dreams more apparent than it seems
Visionary incarnation
Immaculate misconception.
Re birth in the purest sense
Whiteness stained by crimson rain
Bloody scream releases pain.

Whoever said that love was sane?

Beating hearts joined in one
A way to learn let it burn.
Godly status
Transcendent high
Hear it now
Immortal cry

chalk circle...notes on blood shed.

Bloody battle
Bitter battle
Bruised and used
Matador Murdor
Crimson curtain sweeps and swoops
Tricking and taunting
Images haunting.

Tradition is tragedy
Blood glistens
Crystals dancing
Beating and tapping
Twisting and turning
Cheering and choking.

Bloody battle
Bitter battle
Stupid Fucking Futile Battle.

Muscles scream
Blood pouring
Sinews twisting
Fighting
Floating.

Stamping stench
A silent scream
Beg
Whisper
Proud flash of hatred human
Harmful human
Haughty headed handsome human.

Laugh at sport
Growing power
Feel the burn
Another turn.

Bloody battle
Bitter battle
Fucking Futile Stupid Battle.

Greedy man
Angry horn
Forced fight
Dance and prance
Step and skip
Leading
Luring
Evil trap.

Sword glistens
Hidden tall
Cowardly escape
from death or fate.

Blade raised
Bull dazed
Final moment
Horn pushes
Down
Down
Beast beaten
Stumbling deeper

Fight over
Beast life wasted
Walks away
Humble beauty.

Red pouring
Silent screaming
Man winning
Man gleaming
Crowd cheering
Brutal beauty.

Bull down
Peace enters
No respect
No final wishes
Carcass dragged
Thrown to feast on
Human wins
Human sins.

Bloody battle
Bitter battle
Fucking Futile Stupid Battle
Wasted life
Wasted life
Fucking Futile Fucked up Battle.