We did something terrible

We burned each other with blades
Cut out our hearts in our flesh
I drank your blood and you drank mine
Carved our love in to your chest
Scarred my skin with your magic
Cut out our soul
And split our eternity in to two.
Darkness we did not know.
Bad blood.
Bad bad bad bad blood.
Your name burns in my body.
Our destiny is trapped.

Portraits of you in pieces and destroyed ( that doesn't exist anymore)

The memories are not intact. The dissection apparent. Lobotomy of the part of my mind that was with you. it doesn't matter anymore. The purpose of the portrait is complete. 

Addiction

I am addicted to sex.
I am addicted to love.
I am addicted to being loved.
I am addicted to people.
I am addicted to exercise.
I am addicted to alcohol.
I am addicted to parties.
I am addicted to sleep.
I am addicted to routine.
I am addicted to drama.
I am addicted to emotion.
I am addicted to control.
I am addicted to destruction.
I am addicted to you.
I am addicted to me.

Some of these are more abstract than others.
Some are more serious.
They all play with each other.
Maybe this means things are better... Addiction with compromise?

I don't know.
It is hard.

Praying for Japan

I don't think there is anybody who isn't currently aware of the devastating crisis happening now in Japan.
It is a time where we must all pray or wish for those directly and indirectly affected as well as for the world itself. This is a time when humanity must pull together.
Unfortunately humans are of the nature that they are always causing crisis themselves but when the natural world turns on us and fights back this has to be a wake up call. I am no expert on natural disasters, climate change e.t.c but the world itself is a powerful force that I feel we has humans all too readily ignore! We cannot continue to fight against our planet.
I am not one to speculate in the "end of the world" or live in fear of 2012 ( if only because that would mean the remainder of my life was spent waiting for the end!) but there is no doubt that one way or another we are destroying our planet. Yes there have always been natural disasters from volcanoes to floods but it does seem that the scale of events is getting far more epic and unpredictable. It is not so long ago since our last great Tsunami ... happenings that we seem unable to predict in our scientific and measured world.
Now on to the nuclear crisis. We seem to have made this disaster worse by throwing the deadliest of weapons into this sideless war. Again it seems our atomic capabilities have been thrown back at us and yet again Einstein would be turning in his grave. This is no firing of missiles or atomic bomb but the result of the damage to the nuclear plant caused by the devastation is still incredibly dangerous. I understand that nuclear science is forefront and could hold the road to better energy resources and helpful sciences but the danger, wars, power battles and destruction seem to much. Humans have not got capable hands to handle such material.
We have nothing to do now but raise support, wish and pray for those in Japan and for the world itself. Humans have already shown incredible goodness and proved they can work for the greater good. It is heartbreaking to here of the workers in the nuclear plant fighting for everyones safety. Heartbreaking and beautiful. We in England are incredibly lucky to be safe and currently unaffected (as a country physically) by these natural happenings but we do not know what is in store.
It is hard for me to write about this because I , of course, no nothing but I do still care. About this and many other events.
Every time something like this happens we have a wave of perspective forced upon us. I would just like to ask that we try to make this remain with us and also that we don't forget about all of this in a couple of weeks. The rebuilding in Japan will go on for years.

As the bull

As the bull
Flew
Blew
Fiery fists
Missed kicks
As the bull she knew.
Horns glared
Anger dared
fear more passionate the reason ...she knew
She grew
She grew
As a charging, alarming fury of feeling
Her eyes they were weeping
Wounds ripped and seeping
Nostrils flare
No reason to care
Redness and blackness and darkness and blindness
Her motifs not fair
Sink deeper despair.
The bones push through bleeding
Transformation of meaning
Meaning of heartbeat
Of music
Of lightning
Oh how she flew through she flew past as lightning
Scratching and taring and biting and swiping
Fight to the dead
Loosing my head
No way to mend
A road to one end
Uncontrollable destruction
Life without function

john and yoko

make or break?

save or surrender?

kill or cure?