Pink daze

In the pink dress
She hovers floating above the sea
An ephemeral future.
My dreams are all the time
If only they could fill all the grey and  stop to breathe.
Reality doesn't matter to my soul but it inflicts my body.
If I could escape the monotonous daze.
The repetitive repetition of existence.
The over and over and over and over of the pointless
Materiality of empty existence.
Time flows and is wasting the thinking
Freedom tied and bound and suffocated in the lesser mundane
Life running through wasted water.
Ged rid of this burden.
Society sells the sun to the soulless.
And be free.

why WAG is the only option...

I really don't know why I have always been so against the idea. Maybe it is my hideous dislike of HEAT magazine and all the rest, a snobby nosed thought about the trashy, a romantisicsm of the poor, starving and artistic or most probably jeolousy?

Anyway I have suddenly come to the conclusion that it is the only option! Or at least to be aimed for...
Why?
1. I'm fed up of living like a tramp... who doesn't want to be glamorous really? If i had the money and the resources (people to do it for me) of course I would be impecably clean (ah i hate showering but if I had a bubble bath?), manicured, start a skin care regime with pure gold or diamond?, have luscious extensions, perfect make-up, botox and all the rest... I just don't want to do it myself!
2. I could always wear couture.
3. I would never have to get on the tube.
4. I could go to hot places all the time.
5. I could live in space, spacwe, space, space and more space and be tidy, tidy and clean. Oh to hav cleaner and no clutter! No I am not good at doing it myself but ....I could hire a housewife!
6. FOOD. No more cans of macaroni cheese! I could have a wondrful chef and sit down to whatever healthy, delicious meal I choose... plus DESSERT!
7. I could spend as much time excerising, dancing, stretching as I wanted (plus personal trainer)...confessions of an exercise addict!
8. Lets face it... the husband/ boyfirend is going to be fit, buff and healthy... what more could you want? ... disciplined and hard working... and RICH! (all men are cunts)
9. It is pretty much a runway to sme sort of fame! And it doensn't have to be the HEAT do nothing sort! Ican make art, do fashion, be an actress.
10. Enough money to do something worthy... start a charity? Adopt a child?
11. I can do whatever I want ... money is no object
12. Ok... so if evr I do want to pro create who cares? ... Hire a nanny, pay an expensive school and have a tummy tuck and a designer vagina! it isn't about being a mummy any more!


..... Of course there are many more and it doesn't just have to stop at footballers. Rappers, Royalty, Rock stars they all fit the bill.


p.s OF COURSE I SAY ALL PREVIOUS COMPLETLEY IN JEST>>>> WAG= OLD HAG!!!!

can't cut this...

It seems we are heading in to another dawn of discontent. With the rise of the tories and the mess of economics politics is back at the heart of the country and money is the biggest issue. Today students protested against the goverment cuts set to hit all universiities.
With the mess we are in (another human creation) something has to be done ... but the future is bleak. Goldsmiths is set to loose 100 % of its teaching grants along with fees going up to £9000 across the board. This is a diar state of affairs. University always was elitist... for the rich but now everyone expects to have this privilege (not that I would call the education system that!). Cutting and raising will lead to a huge shift in the structure of society... between the new and old.. our generation and the next couple of years and again create a class structure damaging to our already corrupt society.
In terms of art school the state of affairs is ridiculous! It seems to have completley bent to the will anf whim of the goverment loosing all notion of what it is or the point of taking part. I was asked today by a pro cut student (fuck that) "Whether I valued my degree at £30,000 ...becasue if I didn't why was i here?" Ha ha i could .. probably did have laughed in his face. He believed the cuts were vital... probably so he could raise his own elitist arse up above the talented bitches around him. The problem is NO I don't. I value my lifestyle, art, the people I am surronded with but not the stupid grade or the fucking university. The problem is raising the fees will take what little is left of art school ( not much... the goverments still to scared of punk) and remove all talent so that just the very few who can pay ( because no..WE CAN'T) can achieve there precious degree! Proof that your an artist? ... BULLSHIT!!!
Ah if only...
Teachers wouldn't get cuts.
People would be motivated.
We would be fresh.
and my whole bloody world wouldn't feel so rigid.

For the time beign though... befoer we tackle the problem of actual art school..
we must fight... at least this is giving us some anarchic spirit!
YOU CAN'T CUT THIS!!!!

for my sister...

to prove the flake advert is nothing in conparison.
Alexander was a genious. Enough said.
Yes THIS is completely mesmorising and in CONTEXT.
Beatiful, disturbing, trascendent; ART.
Once again the world of advertising and money has sold it'soul. I think t doesn't even work as an advert anyway. Way tooo deep and disturbing.

first day of the next three years of my life...

Ok so here it begins. The first day of my BA Fine Art degree at CSM. How do I feel?
.... I will be honest:
1. I have been excited for a ver long time at the prospect.
2. Lucky
3. . . but I must say it has suddenly hit me... I am incredibly scared of being trapped into something of not being free and at the end of the day shit ..three more year of a system.
4. Scared at how much my life/ I may change affecting important aspects of my life.
5. Happy to be being an artist.
6. Intrigued as to what this journey will involve.
7. Prepared to work hard.
8. Looking forward to meeting amazing people.
9. Worried about money.
10. Worried about time.
11. Fear at not succeeding.
12. Tired.
13. Hating the rain.

.... but here goes all I can really say is live my life.

Call of the wild..

I would literally do anything for this £200 dress by UNIQUE for Topshop.
I saw it in the London flagship store whilst shopping with my mum and we both fell in love with it. Unfortunatly I woluld need a lot of justifying as it is too much money but...
1. It has an amazing wold print and I consider myself a bit of a wolf child. (nothing to do with Twilight!)
2. Purely because I call Alex Wolfie
3. It is purple (which I love) and not black which I have too much of.
4. The fur will keep me warm in winter!!!!
5. I'm sure I can dress it down or up.
6. Prfect mix of princess and les enfants terrible.
7. Although trend driven the cut is timeless.
8. It would make me happy.

So I have four choices :
a. convince someone to buy it for me
b. give up my money
c. wait untill my student loan arrives and hope I die before I have to pay it back
d. pray there will soon be a sale and it will be 75% off .... yay!!!!