A need to be constantly occupied is, I feel, one of my biggest flaws. I find it very hard to focus and very hard to be "in" a situation... my mind just runs away and I start feeling sad or just like I don't belong.
People think I am distant and the truth is YES I am. I just don;t feel like I am there. Not becuase they are boring or even what I am doing is boring. Just my head needs something else.
Maybe it is just the boring that get bored. I don;t even know if it is bordem or jsut a constant searching for something else. But what? Why can't I just be happy with what I have? I have so much.. my life is possitively exciting. I can do anything I want (well not right now) but I have the whole of my life ahead of me. I think its selfishness. Everone else manages to sit inside watching T.V just for a couple of hours. I can;t even focus on that. I have to be doing something else.. but then sometimes I am jsut too lazy too move! Ha ha... just one big contradiction again.
THE END
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