Friday 29 July 2011

Seperation

I think you know I mean it.
Because everything changes now.
The end of OUR time.
Never alone again.
No endless spaces.
Our past all dried up and cut and tied ends together.
That world before was our universe - we chose to step in or step out but it was always there.
Doesn't exist anymore!
Black holes are your fascination
But the space up their is disappearing faster than you can imagine.
No more living in the stars or being star dust.
I'm optimistic.
I like this newness.
But I am not stupid like you.
Spend too much time thinking and I know this is the end.
It didn't have to be but decisions are only human to get wrong.
You chose to separate you world.
Don't belong anymore.
It is fear. Fear that haunts us.
Gone. No more.
I didn't think it would happen like this.
the breaking of wishes makes life str o n ger.
All I can say
It seems to be fate
No longer combined.
Evermore.

Pink daze

In the pink dress
She hovers floating above the sea
An ephemeral future.
My dreams are all the time
If only they could fill all the grey and  stop to breathe.
Reality doesn't matter to my soul but it inflicts my body.
If I could escape the monotonous daze.
The repetitive repetition of existence.
The over and over and over and over of the pointless
Materiality of empty existence.
Time flows and is wasting the thinking
Freedom tied and bound and suffocated in the lesser mundane
Life running through wasted water.
Ged rid of this burden.
Society sells the sun to the soulless.
And be free.

Thursday 28 July 2011

Wednesday 27 July 2011

The Jacques Townhouse (and feet eating fish)

Last night I was lucky enough to visit The Jacques Townhouse currently up and running on Queen Anne's Street. I mainly went to take some pictures of beautiful people and things. Last year I helped create some of the interior and was interested to see how the wonderful Mr Carter had reworked it for this year. . .Well it was magical and marvellous and exciting and very very different from last year. The whole places was humming with the energy of the guests and I really took advantage of the experience. On entrance I immediately received a yummy doughnut, sipped on berry cider, scoffed strawberry popcorn, decorated and ate my own cupcake, tried on a wig, donned some feather eyelashes (whilst the make-up artist obsessed over my LADY GAGA looks (yes I have heard it all before!)) and even (god knows how) managed to sit in a pool of water whilst some fish nibbled my feet. I admit I screamed on the first bite! My feet still look horrible... but hey I did it!
 On entrance



I want a flamingo as a pet...
And a bunny (or a bunny girl)... 
... Jacques on the house!!





My decorating skills went as far as... cram on the sweets 

because sweets are yum!


Me as miss Piggy (the hair) 
Playing the princess


Casually having my feet chewed...
My feet are still hideous! 

DEER ME!!!
Feather lashes (drag disguise)

Tuesday 26 July 2011

When I am dead I want to be decapitated and hung in a museum..








It really annoys me that nearly everything at The Natural History Museum is plastic. The dinosaurs are a lie.

Monday 25 July 2011

Obvious

Smoke and water in the electric streets
The umbrellas blow your mind.
Mutant skin sticks to sodden sky
The snake wont bite you because it has lost its eye
Shed its scales in dystopia
Puddles piss pools of stars.
The money doesn't matter anymore
The vision is counting down
The yellow mackintosh absorbing air.
Guns blow holes in your heart
The doll feels everything.

Art that really SHOCKED me

Before i found out about Amy Winehouse's tragic death on Saturday what I really wanted to write about was what shocked me face to face. There is a lot of art  out there that is supposedly meant to shock. Most of it, in reality, might be amazing art, might be art that I love, but it doesn't shock! Sex is exciting not shocking. Swearing just a part of the every day human language. Religion discussed.... Politics obvious! I must admit, even a water boarding  (torture technique) performance installation at the recent Goldsmiths showcase didn't shock me. It was too obvious, too tacky. What really shocks me is when I feel. When I feel disgusted, uneasy, shocked...at god knows what. When art is the unexpected.
  On saturday I walked in to the White Cube on Hoxton Square for the "Jake or Dinos Chapman" exhibition. A show put on in both White Cube's (I haven't been to Mason's Yard yet - but can't wait) in which the tow brothers have both made art separately from one another for one another but we don't know whose is who. Anyway I walked in and it was busy. There were some interesting paintings on the wall and some intricate sculptures. They didn't really mean anything to me. A mix of contemporary and african art by the looks of it. Fairly fun ... and then I noticed this group of school children at the end of the room. I thought to myself "Odd place for a school trip (they were very small looking - so i assumed must be young) especially on a saturday." And then in struck me. they were all ever so perculiar. Ever so still. Ever so intimidating. They weren't real!
  This made me feel incredibly uneasy. I don't know why. I couldn't stop staring and I hadn't even seen there fronts yet. I walked round and here it becomes obvious they aren't real but there is certainly some sort of life in them. They are a presence. A very REAL presence. I wont tell you about there faces. They aren't normal faces. But you have to go and see. It is the feeling that shocks. It is not the Nazi content or the distortion but just the fact they are there. Quite frankly I can't get over it. The press release has it just right "It is the attack on the body". The body of everyone.
It isn't there in the picture

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to corollate all its contents"
    Dinos Chapman from the book "Nothing they Teach us"

Sunday 24 July 2011

Ripped jeans


This is the bum I have been thinking about all week. What is it about ripped jeans that still gets people?
So SEXY

Saturday 23 July 2011

Amy

I know there are lots of mixed opinions about Amy Winehouse and lots of tragedy in the world but no   one can fail to pay there respects to this extremely talented girl on the news of her death. It is a tragedy. A tragedy caused by the world we live in, addiction, emotion, passion, creation and life. We don't know the causes. Amy had a lot of lovers and fans but people were cruel. A victim of the world of celebrity.
  I was in Tesco when I heard the news (it came on the TV screens at Liverpool street) and I must admit I am devastated. The music (as well as the person) has been a big influence in my life. There was a point when I would listen to her continuously every day for almost a year. Mainly to dance to, to deal with my own problems, to be with people, just to relax. "Back to black" is probably my most listened to album ever.   It came out when I was in hospital for the second time and "Rehab" was a song that we could laugh too. There we were stuck in "Rehab" and, well, it just made everything a bit lighter. Amy was also in the news a lot then.. and we were all interested. She had similarities with us that we could connect to. Obsess over. Anything. Most of all though, I really did love her music. It "feels" so much. You can "feel" her.
  I hope Amy is at peace now, like so many troubled people I know that have died young, hopefully this means the torment has ended. It makes me think of all those wonderful people : Lorry, Fran, Joe, Kate  and all the rest I know who are still struggling with life. "Only the good die young" . Thank you for making me stronger.



Friday 22 July 2011

Tears

I cry. I cry a lot. It overwhelms me. I feel my body crying from my heart. It chokes me. I cry at you. I cry at you all the time. But just now I cried at a film. I sat here staring at the screen and I cried. Tears came. Tears came out of my eyes and then they turned to tears of joy. I cried at something that wasn't you. I have my soul back. I have feelings again. I am full. Full of tears for everything. Normal beautiful tears.

It is no secret I still want to run away with the circus...

I always have. I always will. And I will always hate my parents for not forcing me to go to circus school from the age of three... (only joking - I love them really)!
  However I do suffer from a major problem - whenever I go to see a play, a circus show, a concert... a cabaret I watch it, enjoy it and become consumed with jealousy that I am not in it.
  "Circa" by Wunderkammer at the Barbican was no exception. It really was a stunning, hilarious and talented performance. The amazing thing about this show was it's light heartedness. The acrobatics were exquisite but it was performed playfully. There was no elitism in the movement but a humbleness in the way it was presented - the troupe didn't take themselves seriously (in a good way) and this made the show.

"In this exquisite cabaret of the senses, a diva melts into a rope, balloons and bubble wrap discover their artistic souls while bodies twist and fly.  Seven performers of unbelievable ability bend the very fabric of reality. Sexy, funny and explosive, Circa presents a breathless cocktail of new circus, cabaret and vaudeville.  Control and abandon, skill and humour, lyricism and anarchy all meld into a sinuous fugue of profound beauty. "



Oh and not forgetting I do like a bit of nudity. It always goes down well and this was an excellent chance to perve.

Thursday 21 July 2011

Cunt of the Week: Volume IV

This time it is a watercolour
Wet Pussy

Just for the record I seriously am planning on keeping this up. After all who has anything better to do than sitting at home decorating a VAG? It gives me satisfaction and that is what counts... only about another 100 to go and I will have completed the book...watch this space !

Wednesday 20 July 2011

Lovebox : Mudbox : LoveBlondie

On Sunday I went to Lovebox "Out and Out Fierce" and can now safely say I have lived my life and seen Blondie - The icon that is Debbie Harry! The weather wasn't exactly summery... but what are festivals good for if it is not the mud?
  The atmosphere was fierce and the people beautiful.. if not bedraggled. I danced my way through the day and was right at the front for Blondie and The Scissor Sisters. Is Tropical were awesome as usual as were 2MANYDJ's, Planningtorock, The Black Devil Disco Club, Robyn and Beth Ditto (especially when she joined the scissor sisters on stage for (The Biggest Tits on the radio). By the end of the day I felt kinda sad that I wasn't crawling back to a tent... but had fun at an after party anyway. I took way to many photos...
but here are a few.
Marilia as "Mary" 
Myself and Lord Timothy

The dad in the skeleton suit  = cool dad

Classic sausage sucking
Planningtorock

The Black Devil Disco Club - Funniest guy alive <3
Sucessful posing?
Bum
Eye Spy
Is Tropical
"The Gays" waiting for Blondie
Miss Harry (stunner!)
Sunday Girl
She acts like she don't care
Technicolor Tranny
Ana playing the Diva
Scissor sisters love
Ditto joins the tits crew
Stomach love




Fetish night

Robyn

Tim's dream


Says it all
Goodnight