Flow

I don't know just where I'm going
But I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can
'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man
When I put a spike into my vein
And I'll tell ya, things aren't quite the same
When I'm rushing on my run
And I feel just like Jesus' son
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know

I have made the big decision
I'm gonna try to nullify my life
'Cause when the blood begins to flow
When it shoots up the dropper's neck
When I'm closing in on death
And you can't help me not, you guys
And all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk
You can all go take a walk
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know

I wish that I was born a thousand years ago
I wish that I'd sail the darkened seas
On a great big clipper ship
Going from this land here to that
In a sailor's suit and cap
Away from the big city
Where a man can not be free
Of all of the evils of this town
And of himself, and those around
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know

Heroin, be the death of me
Heroin, it's my wife and it's my life
Because a mainer to my vein
Leads to a center in my head
And then I'm better off than dead
Because when the smack begins to flow
I really don't care anymore
About all the Jim-Jim's in this town
And all the politicians makin' busy sounds
And everybody puttin' everybody else down
And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds

'Cause when the smack begins to flow
Then I really don't care anymore
Ah, when the heroin is in my blood
And that blood is in my head
Then thank God that I'm as good as dead
Then thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care
And I guess I just don't know
And I guess I just don't know

I couldn't bring myself to put up Pavarotti!..

I think this song is a victim of its brilliance. There's been too many awful collaborations and too many connotations made... but it is beautiful.

youth perfection...

pure beauty

Perfect nonsense...

Is ir the same thing with you?
(pause)... Then you should talk!
Talk like time, curioser and curioser.
Mix you words and look and sing.

It's beautiful. It's wretched.

STOP ALICE STOP
Two days more and the fury will come
...
"OH" I see!
It's that man he talks in riddles.
You know it just isn't the same anymore...
It's well.... It's you!

Feeling alive

I absolutely love living here, I feel incredibly lucky. I know I am so so so lucky.
I have london all around me and it just makes me feel alive. Walking out on to Brick Lane makes me feel like I can breathe again. It is exciting and for once I think I belong. I love the people. The things people do. I just like looking at evverything. Kittens, dancing ladies, records and sequins. I don't feel like I am in the naughties I feel like I can do what I want and I don't care what people think. Anyway I have permission to be wierd.
I love how I am living. I can't bear the thought of going back to how it was. I think I will die sometimes but I know this is what will make me survive.
No sleep, Stay in bed, Sunday morning, Harmonicas, Tower Bridge, Chocolate and Cream, Waves, Lights, Red phone boxes, Knives and Pizza. I don't know... I am confused about today. I am scared incase it all goes wrong. I think we established I destroy everything. But I know I can't stop smiling :)

the story of my life...

back to this

this song defined my life for a very long time...

Love
I'm sorry
xxx

Adam and Eve were naked in the garden of eden.. they only put on clothes after they'd sinned...

The Beautiful Betty Page




"I don't know what they mean by an icon. I never thought of myself as being that. It seems strange to me. I was just modeling, thinking of as many different poses as possible."

"Sex is a part of love. You shouldn't go around doing it unless you are in love.."

Circles

Truth is Beauty
Beauty is Truth
Truth is not Beauty
Beauty is not Truth
Your Beauty is Truthful
Your Truth is Beautiful
Your Beauty is not Truthful
Your Truth is not Beautiful

Pete makes BABYSHAMBLES and me go crazy!

I just can't get enough! I just can't get enough!
Last night was one of the best nights of my life...easy. Babyshambles at smash and grab, PROUD was immense! I couldn;t really beleive my luck at just turning up and getting in for £8!! The venue is always amazing, the DJ's were hot stuff, the heat high, all bands were pretty good bt noting beats the atmosphere that Pete made. It was carnage. The crowd was mental. Death was imminent. It was EPIC!

The music was beautiful.
The people was beautiful.
I had glitter everywhere.
Ahhh i just don't know what to say!



Playlist:
'Fireman'
'Delivery'
'Beg, Steal Or Borrow'
'The BNP Blues'
Untitled new song
'I Wish'
'Billie Jean'
'West End Girls'
Untitled new song
'Baddie's Boogie'
'Unstookietitled'
Untitled new song
'Killamangiro'
Untitled new song
'Time For Heroes'
'Fuck Forever'

The evolution of a mushroom and pen lid...

Everything has to start somewhere... I atarted with a mushroom and a pen lid...

Manifesto... a 20 minute brainstorm and it's all about me...

Upon being asked to come up with a manifesto I found myself, as per usual, flooded with thoughts. They aren't helpful to society. Don;t really apply to anybody else. Certainly aren;t funny. Jus tan outburst of emotion. Some of them probably hugely contradict each other and other most certainly wrong. But i think this is what I beleieve. The first one... as pointed out by "reader" is most probably wrong.. because i clearly know what I think. my problem being this is constantly changing...

I don't know who I am. Try everything once.
Forget your preconceptions. Believe in Beauty.Forget reality and believe in nonsense. Hope hurts when it isn't truthful. Trust your eyes. We all have an energy, when we die it goes to a white space. It sounds liek nothing else. I have been there. Your fantasy can be your reality you just have to go there. It's all about image. Beauty is truth, truth is beauty. Fact. I don't think any feeling is the same, the same kind of sadness never happens twice. I just like feeling everything even if it is bad. Lonliness is nothing about beign surrounded by people. How do we know our emotions feel the same as other peoples? I don't think lust is a bad thing, it is essentially love for beauty and ecstasy. Love can be lust. Sometimes it is good to pretend you don;t think; it gives you head a break. Dreams are reality. Understading yourself is about accepting that you are constantly changing and so therefore you will never understand yourself. Sex isn't bad, people just make you feel bad because of what they have been told. Self destruction is only self destruction in other peoples opinions, I hate myself for it sometimes, but I think it is just a different way of living. Thinking is confusing but unavoidable. Don't condemn yourself to be a certain way. It's all about experiences. I can't do normal conversation. I don;t aim to shock. Do we fall in love becasue we think we have to? Being who you want to be isn't that easy. Artistic intelligence is completley different to academic intelligence. Both are hard to live with. Failing is not an option unless it is deliberate. Strugglnig to feel liek you fit in just makes it feel worse- the people aren't worth it.Why do I try and make myself feel worse? Creating an image is about finding out who you are. Honesty offends people. never do nothing. Don;t be defined by any stereotypeor anything people have told you about yorself. God is not a man in the sky, spirit is energy, the universe has power. Making people worry about me is a way of connecting. Sometimes you have to emotionally rip each other apart. Destruction is about physicallising emotion. Life is experience is not about longitivity. I don't want to be perfect. Learn to have coping mechanisms that don't destroy relationships. Dance in your head forever. Be magical. Glitter. Doe sbeleiveing I am not entirely from here make me crazy? The world is essentially good becasue everything happens for a reason. Fate and Destiny. Achieve. Freedom, Truth, Beauty and Love. Create. I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO... IT SCARES ME!

The list goes on forever... I am essentially selfish I think... I don;t think any of these help the world. But htey were my 20 minutes.

I still want to be a pre-raphaelite...but romanticism just isn't cool anymore!

These paintings still embodies everything fantasy is or could be... open up the whole movement and the possibilities are STILL endless. Beaty isn't dead...

Ophelia Sir John Everett Millais (she has my name and I tried to be her for a very long time...i was jelous of a painting but she was teh super model of the time "lizzie")
but they just don't teach you to paint anymore...
Mermaids Waterhouse ... this exhibition actually made me stand there and cry..they are more beautiful than you can every imagine in being. (In date, techinically not a pre-raphaelite... but at heart he was all there)

Waterhouse

Waterhouse

Waterhouse

Waterhouse

Waterhouse

Rossetti
Maybe it's just magic and my obsession with fairytales but i love these paintings. I think it is a case of defining identity through fantasy... these images can still be used somehow. We aren't classical artists but all ideas start somwhere... and mine are often here.

The notion of celebrity...

It's all about presenting an image. Portraying yourself how you want to. Striking a pose. It's all about illusion...
I don't think this means the illusion is fake.. it's your creation and therefore still part of you. You can be creating a myth, playing someone else... but you are always in there. In a way creating an illusion is taking yourself out of yourself.. you are you. No one ultmately knows who you are... but at least your showing something. Its beautiful and its obsession.