Vaughan unfolded to me all his obsessions with the mysterious eroticism of wounds: the perverse logic of blood-soaked instrument panels, seat-belts smeared with excrement, sun-visors lined with brain tissue...
sex + technology = the future
Wednesday 31 March 2010
Monday 29 March 2010
A B C
A LOVES B
and B loves C.
This is a strange state of being.
Nothin can be done.
Thereis no loigic.
This is an unresolved mystery.
.... but what if C loves B back?
and B loves C.
This is a strange state of being.
Nothin can be done.
Thereis no loigic.
This is an unresolved mystery.
.... but what if C loves B back?
Everyday - I try and I try and I try - But everybody wants to pu me down they say I'm going crazy...
this man is amazing
A am so confused. I dont know whether I have somebody or not. I think I do..but is it my right? and what about everybody else?
Saturday 27 March 2010
WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE
HelmutNewton
Jassara, Rue Aubriot, 1977
look closely. this isn't right. damaged. pain. but it is beautiful.
...and everything is damaged.
Friday 26 March 2010
If i didn't have the balls...
.. but i could never have that much cleavage.
And the chickens way too pretty.
Thursday 25 March 2010
Oceans
I think water is incredible. Its power overwhelms me. Its diversity. It fills me with a feeling of awe and wonder. It makes me feel peaceful. It seems so wise. My favourite times are summer times by a sea or lake... look out across the water.. here it, feel it.. sense it. It has a voice a personality. Water has seen so much and it all has been part of one big moving body: oceans, rivers, rain clouds, inside trees..inside us. It is life. Water is alive. It is a mystery that has fascinated me for years. As a child I had a stron dgesire to find out the secret of water. Realistically now I know I am no great scientist and probably never will be but in a way now i don't want to know its inner truth. I see it as a conscious being, delving into it's mind may be way too dangerous. How can we as mere humans expect to understand something so great and so all powerfull. Something with the ability to shape and create anything... or destroy everthing. What makes water angry or suddenly turn? What makes water make us feel? What makes water starve or nourish... It has to be a mind! Not like ours, but a great mind. The soul of water; the basis to the universe.
WATER
by Keith Tyson
"Nature's better at painting than I am"
WATER
by Keith Tyson
"Nature's better at painting than I am"
Wednesday 24 March 2010
Tuesday 23 March 2010
what you have taught me... (amongst oher things)
1. to love and be loved in return
2. to be really happy
3. to really care more about someone else more than yourself
4. true beauty
5. that a smile can be the bst thin in the world
6. that i dont haveto be a stpid girl
7. to rest
8. to enjoy time
9. to not be scared
10. to never stop han fun because it is not necessary
11. that this doesn't thave to be boring
12. infinatethins about music
13. to be able to look at you in the eyes and not be scared at what you are lookin at
14. that I do things could never imagine
15. that i can do al the things I can ever imagine
17. thatboyslie to dance and dance like me
18. not to be restless
19. that i can spend timewith people
20. that you aremore important than any habit
21. that other people re ade of stardust
22. infinite thns about music
23. that I am stupid some times.. and yes it does annoy me
24. that you now so much more
25. that i don,t or you dont ever need to be someone else
26. that I don't need to beleive in orever oreverits just forever for now.. .and
it doenst make it pointless
27. that i cn spend every moment of one day thinknig about you
28. that we can do everything
29. that who cares?
30. that lying in bed for hours when awake can be the best thing ever
31. that fairytales are real.. none have a happy ending... but thats ok.. dreamer
32. conirmed my belief in fate
33..many more thins of which i don't need to write
34. that i don't need to detroy this
35. that it doesn't matter what we do
36. loose control
37. control
38. myself
39. jelousy hurts and i can be jelous
40. that i am not that bad
41. that the drums rule
42. that my heart feels like its flying
43. that i belong
44. i should really watch all the films you say
45.that sometimes i can't wtch a film to he end
46. that i like eating with you
47. that cheese isnt cheese wen it feels real
48. that my obsesson with reality and desire for fantasy is possible
49. that you make me full... of ease
50. we will do anything to prove it
51. it is still a competition
52. i love my life
53. love
54.love
55. love
... and many more (bongoes rule)
and so many more little things.. they are just feelings
2. to be really happy
3. to really care more about someone else more than yourself
4. true beauty
5. that a smile can be the bst thin in the world
6. that i dont haveto be a stpid girl
7. to rest
8. to enjoy time
9. to not be scared
10. to never stop han fun because it is not necessary
11. that this doesn't thave to be boring
12. infinatethins about music
13. to be able to look at you in the eyes and not be scared at what you are lookin at
14. that I do things could never imagine
15. that i can do al the things I can ever imagine
17. thatboyslie to dance and dance like me
18. not to be restless
19. that i can spend timewith people
20. that you aremore important than any habit
21. that other people re ade of stardust
22. infinite thns about music
23. that I am stupid some times.. and yes it does annoy me
24. that you now so much more
25. that i don,t or you dont ever need to be someone else
26. that I don't need to beleive in orever oreverits just forever for now.. .and
it doenst make it pointless
27. that i cn spend every moment of one day thinknig about you
28. that we can do everything
29. that who cares?
30. that lying in bed for hours when awake can be the best thing ever
31. that fairytales are real.. none have a happy ending... but thats ok.. dreamer
32. conirmed my belief in fate
33..many more thins of which i don't need to write
34. that i don't need to detroy this
35. that it doesn't matter what we do
36. loose control
37. control
38. myself
39. jelousy hurts and i can be jelous
40. that i am not that bad
41. that the drums rule
42. that my heart feels like its flying
43. that i belong
44. i should really watch all the films you say
45.that sometimes i can't wtch a film to he end
46. that i like eating with you
47. that cheese isnt cheese wen it feels real
48. that my obsesson with reality and desire for fantasy is possible
49. that you make me full... of ease
50. we will do anything to prove it
51. it is still a competition
52. i love my life
53. love
54.love
55. love
... and many more (bongoes rule)
and so many more little things.. they are just feelings
Monday 22 March 2010
a portrait
just a portrait of me by my sister in her art book.
i pref it to any potograph it as character.. more so in life. Maybe i am convereted. Paiting can b btter than moments.
i pref it to any potograph it as character.. more so in life. Maybe i am convereted. Paiting can b btter than moments.
This is the moment
This is the moment when I have lost control and something needs to happen to prove destuction. It's the moment when i spnd the night time in hell becuase i want to fuck up the day; not want but it seems the only option or at least the only one I Know. This is the moment when i look at myself and want to be sick but I can't because that's the easy way out...or the hard way..anyway I want to endure the pain. It's the moment when i wish I had a magic wand and could wave back and change everything..but I knew hat I was doing at the time. It's the moment when I need to gain back control and prove that I a strong enough again. This doesn't prove my happinss it takes it away. I am what I am... and trying to be somthing else scares me. It's all happened before. I just want to be on a level. No up and down and defenately not up. It won't make me un happy perhaps but it wil change my fundamental values and I am not ready. I never wan to be ready. This is the moment when i waste a couple of days on achieveing a goal. It hasn't got hard yet. Maybe I just pretend it will.
Sunday 21 March 2010
blood brothers; lovers
blood brothers
lovers
forever
together
beautiful angel
contrasting hardness
dirty blood in stonecold water
tears of ice cold acid burning
cutting slashing
scalpel curving
painful heart
exploding motion
stuck in yearning
exquisite pleasure
love is hurt in sucking jelousy
die for you and keep on going
all that matters
sweetness beauty
pureness
crudeness
dirty lover.
.. blood brother
lovers
forever
together
beautiful angel
contrasting hardness
dirty blood in stonecold water
tears of ice cold acid burning
cutting slashing
scalpel curving
painful heart
exploding motion
stuck in yearning
exquisite pleasure
love is hurt in sucking jelousy
die for you and keep on going
all that matters
sweetness beauty
pureness
crudeness
dirty lover.
.. blood brother
Thursday 18 March 2010
Wednesday 17 March 2010
It's nice to be important...
... but it's more important to be nice.
So why aren't we and why does it seem so different?
We just all want success.
So why aren't we and why does it seem so different?
We just all want success.
Tuesday 16 March 2010
feeling like death?
Why do we say we feel like death?
I feel terrible; my brain is bulging through my skull and stretching at my skin, my throat is rasping desperately searching for air. I have blisers on my tongue, bruises on my body, everything is a fiery glowing haze of confusion and terrifying torment but I don't feel like death. Death doesn't feel or if it does presumbly I have no knowledge; it just feels like nothing. What I feel just proves I feel alive, I just feel pain because i am ill. Tommorow will be better, tommorow I won't be reaching for tissue upon tissue and soaking it with a mix of blood and mucus. Tommorow I will jsut get on with it. The reason; however dramatic and sorry for ourselves we feel we are just human. Evryone gets ill, (his mild form of illness we call a cold) and what can we do about it. Nothing. Therefore make the most out of it... but just get on with it.
I feel terrible; my brain is bulging through my skull and stretching at my skin, my throat is rasping desperately searching for air. I have blisers on my tongue, bruises on my body, everything is a fiery glowing haze of confusion and terrifying torment but I don't feel like death. Death doesn't feel or if it does presumbly I have no knowledge; it just feels like nothing. What I feel just proves I feel alive, I just feel pain because i am ill. Tommorow will be better, tommorow I won't be reaching for tissue upon tissue and soaking it with a mix of blood and mucus. Tommorow I will jsut get on with it. The reason; however dramatic and sorry for ourselves we feel we are just human. Evryone gets ill, (his mild form of illness we call a cold) and what can we do about it. Nothing. Therefore make the most out of it... but just get on with it.
Monday 15 March 2010
do we aim?
shock 1 (shk)
n.
1.
a. A violent collision or impact; a heavy blow. See Synonyms at collision.
b. The effect of such a collision or blow.
2.
a. Something that jars the mind or emotions as if with a violent unexpected blow.
b. The disturbance of function, equilibrium, or mental faculties caused by such a blow; violent agitation.
3. A severe offense to one's sense of propriety or decency; an outrage.
4. A potentially fatal physiological reaction to a variety of conditions, including illness, injury, hemorrhage, and dehydration, usually characterized by marked loss of blood pressure, diminished blood circulation, and inadequate blood flow to the tissues.
5. The sensation and muscular spasm caused by an electric current passing through the body or a body part.
6. A sudden economic disturbance, such as a rise in the price of a commodity.
7. A shock absorber.
v. shocked, shock·ing, shocks
v.tr.
1. To strike with great surprise and emotional disturbance.
2. To strike with disgust; offend.
3. To induce a state of physical shock in (a person).
4. To subject (an animal or person) to an electric shock.
v.intr.
To come into contact violently, as in battle; collide.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
n.
1.
a. A violent collision or impact; a heavy blow. See Synonyms at collision.
b. The effect of such a collision or blow.
2.
a. Something that jars the mind or emotions as if with a violent unexpected blow.
b. The disturbance of function, equilibrium, or mental faculties caused by such a blow; violent agitation.
3. A severe offense to one's sense of propriety or decency; an outrage.
4. A potentially fatal physiological reaction to a variety of conditions, including illness, injury, hemorrhage, and dehydration, usually characterized by marked loss of blood pressure, diminished blood circulation, and inadequate blood flow to the tissues.
5. The sensation and muscular spasm caused by an electric current passing through the body or a body part.
6. A sudden economic disturbance, such as a rise in the price of a commodity.
7. A shock absorber.
v. shocked, shock·ing, shocks
v.tr.
1. To strike with great surprise and emotional disturbance.
2. To strike with disgust; offend.
3. To induce a state of physical shock in (a person).
4. To subject (an animal or person) to an electric shock.
v.intr.
To come into contact violently, as in battle; collide.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday 14 March 2010
behind the camera from other peoples perspective
the first of three fashion shoots done this week by the lovly Chun.P.Lin
onedayi will escape to the forest and be able to rule the world...but being stuck there is so awkward...
Friday 12 March 2010
seven years
Seven years ago today i was plunged into the mpst horrific reality that probly saved my life. I was iprisoned, scared, helpless. A child who didn't know what was going on. Thrown in to an adult world of fear and madness that I didn't uderstand. How could here have been anythig wrong with me? I was just a girl. What kind of person is saved by a world whch destroys all your control? How do you explain to that child that she needs to get better when she knows she isn't sick. How can you issolate her from her friends and family and take everything she knows away from her. Why? Becasue you love her and you child is dying.
This was my reality. It haunts me but without it seven years on I wold not be the person I am.. I might not even be here.
This was my reality. It haunts me but without it seven years on I wold not be the person I am.. I might not even be here.
Thursday 11 March 2010
the perfect human?
If we distane ourselves from the subject, take out emotion then we can be objective.
Something can be perfect. We are not perfect. This is not perfect. But everything is perfect because it is how it is. Everything is destiny. Destiny is perfect. Pain is perfect. Lifeis perfect because it feels like something. Perfect is not perfec inthe tradiional sense.
Questions?
Wednesday 10 March 2010
Tuesday 9 March 2010
sonnet10
For shame! deny that thou bear'st love to any,
Who for thyself art so unprovident.
Grant, if thou wilt, thou art beloved of many,
But that thou none lovest is most evident;
For thou art so possess'd with murderous hate
That 'gainst thyself thou stick'st not to conspire.
Seeking that beauteous roof to ruinate
Which to repair should be thy chief desire.
O, change thy thought, that I may change my mind!
Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?
Be, as thy presence is, gracious and kind,
Or to thyself at least kind-hearted prove:
Make thee another self, for love of me,
That beauty still may live in thine or thee.
Who for thyself art so unprovident.
Grant, if thou wilt, thou art beloved of many,
But that thou none lovest is most evident;
For thou art so possess'd with murderous hate
That 'gainst thyself thou stick'st not to conspire.
Seeking that beauteous roof to ruinate
Which to repair should be thy chief desire.
O, change thy thought, that I may change my mind!
Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?
Be, as thy presence is, gracious and kind,
Or to thyself at least kind-hearted prove:
Make thee another self, for love of me,
That beauty still may live in thine or thee.
Monday 8 March 2010
conscience
Does the mind rule the body or the body rule the mind?
I think they are insperable. The mind is the body. Pain is always physical whatever the cause. We love becuse of physical things and yet we do things that feel.
I can be won ovr by physical things, yet, I always no what I should be doing... I chose to ignore it. When one is ill the other one doesn't work.
Without a body you can't have a mind and without a mind ou can't have a body. Who even knows what these two things are. We are just beings. We aren't seperated. Sante is both.
But sometimes it is head or heart...
Do we have to decide?
I think they are insperable. The mind is the body. Pain is always physical whatever the cause. We love becuse of physical things and yet we do things that feel.
I can be won ovr by physical things, yet, I always no what I should be doing... I chose to ignore it. When one is ill the other one doesn't work.
Without a body you can't have a mind and without a mind ou can't have a body. Who even knows what these two things are. We are just beings. We aren't seperated. Sante is both.
But sometimes it is head or heart...
Do we have to decide?
Sunday 7 March 2010
one day i will stand alone
My failure kills me. I want to be this independant person who can completley cope. I can. But i am a liability. Every time something happens I am so embarassed. Having to call someone up ask for help. It hurts so much. It points out how pathetic I am. I'm just a pet who plays at growing up but stillneeds to grow up. I need someone for everything. And yes it;s not my fault but I could stop these things from hapening if I just took some time to think. If i was sensible. Ohhh to being sensible. But sensible would kill me.
Saturday 6 March 2010
Monday 1 March 2010
everyone should learn to dance!
there once was a time when i was in love with fred astaire... purely for his tap dancing genius... and the amount he was in love with ginger...
you got to dance!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)