time

Sometimes I am scared that m life is passing me by and no mater how much I try to fill it up I am missing out or living the wrong thing, the wrong time, feeling wrong.
I get so caught up in what could be, what could have been trying to change things or face up to them... it gets so I don;t even know what I am doing anymore. I don;tknow whether I am myself or somethng different? Do these flashing lights mean something? Is time just another constraint .. not becuase it vanishes but becase we know it does? I think I fight against my feelings because I am scared of the end result but if I am so sure in fate then maye I shouldn't .. I just can't take life ot of my hands but I don't trust myself with time.