Saturday 25 December 2010

the first christmas

I simply had a wonderful christmas day! Really, honestly the best christmas I have had since I was a very very little girl. I don't meant to sound scroogey I love christmasy things but over the years I really have learnt to hate christmas day! This year made all the difference.
Since I was six i spent christmas half way between my mums and my dads untill i was a teenager... a christmas of car journeys, when I became a teenager christmas was tense because of my own difficulties... I wanted to enjoy it but I always caused the problem; always threw a tantrum or caused a desperate argument... it was too stressful. Christmas was a boring day spent being bored and feeling suffocated and fearful... then last year... although a special christmas, one to be remebered, was a deeply sad time. Last year was the last year my grandma, someone for whom christmas was christmas. We woke up at 6 in the morning and travelled to Oxford to spend Christmas day in hospital with my wonderful grandma pam, the most fantastic Grandma anyone could wish for. She was very frail and had declined rapidly, it was a humbling moving and saddening day but I am so happy i got to see her before she died. I will remember her forever and ever as a beautiful beautiful young at heart lady.

Anyway thank you for this Christmas. Thank you Wolfie (Alex) for making this perfect, thank you for being there, thank you for my lovely presents, thank you for making me outstandingly happy. Thank you his family for being lovely. Thank you my family for being wonderful and my best friends with amazing presents, amazing food and a lovely Christmas. And well done me... because I have changed and grown (because of these people) and now I can do Christmas and enjoy it!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

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