You make me more than cry

The star boy in my mind smiles on sound.

Silence glistens as my fractured brain feels whole.

What imagination I must have had to make him live and still the ghost remains?

A spectre of hope – it haunts me.

I cry when I feel what I have lost yet I do not know whether it ever even existed.

The story was there.

Fairytale fiction that found my heart and fixed my thoughts and made me feel free.

Freedom that slowly suffocated my shadow and changed from light to dark in an instant.

Beautiful boy with that pretty face and perfect body that fits just right and closes this space,

In my dreams you still stay,

One day, one day...

One day I will find you and the world will be the right colour again.

To feel found I have to say goodbye.

I miss the kiss. Tears fill my eyes because

I miss the kiss and my face tenses up.

Choking body.

I feel so angry at not knowing what or how or why I feel or why you fucking did this?

Choking frustration at you making this silly little girl so vile.

I want it to be ok.

Live the life...

But we planned so different.

I was the one that believed it. A fault so faultless.. I wish I could be like that again.

I just can't help but hate you.

That star boys ignorance.

You make me more than fucking cry.