Tiredness

I am so tired. Everything is just seeping out of me and I don't know where it  is going. The word draining is an understatement. It is like everything is beign sucked from your body and the shell hardly knows how to move any more. I don't know why I feel so tired. I think it is the grey weather. I always feel like this. Like I have to force myself to move. And I do. I am feeding an insaciable furnace. I just can't get enough oxygen. Some parasite is eating my flesh and my voice and my life from me. I can't keep up. I do. But I can't.
Everything seems ot come out and nothing stays in. I sleep I am tired. I eat and I eat and I eaty and nothing happens. I thin k my body i splaying a sick joke but it hurts. I am doing everything in my power to stay a float and I AM. Because I will never ever ever give up. Rest isn't something that helps. It is just that feeling of rotting and sufficating and everything is buzzing in my head. I don't feel like I am doing anything and I just keep on and on and on. Pne day I will have to catch up.
 I need to live in a country with constant sunlight. I think I feed of the warmth. It is just so damn cold and I don't like being in a dark hole. the wierd thing is I am happy. Just without energy. It makes happiness harder.
I want to be able to be fully there and fully with it for everyone.