cancer

It is a proper fear word. Hearing it just made me burst into uncontrollable tears. Tears I couldn't stop. I think we just associate cancer with ultimate doom.
It isn't me. My mother has skin cancer and just hearing it just created so much fear. Without it life is fine, happy, great but how could we be so naive. How could I not know. How can I be lauGhing and joking one minute and the next be so unbeleivably scared.
Cancer grips us like a menace. We all fear it even if we don;t know it. It is something no one wants to here. No matter how bad or not bad... the problem is in our heads it is associated with the worst.
I think w all need to be careful. Think about what ur life actually means. my mum has skin cancer from sun damage. She hs never sought after a tan or used a sun bed. She always wears sun cream in the summer but I think this just shows us. Any sun burn can do the trick. Every day sun can be the problem. We need to wear sun cream al the time. Protect our bodies. Same goes for everythin else, stop smokin, limit our drinking , try to be as healthy as possible because you never want to say to someone "I have cancer".
I think this has hit me hard. I always say " I don;t want to live to be old.. ive fast die young!" But this is stupid. I am underestimating the pain and suffering I could ccause to not just me ... but veryone else. The likely hood I am just goni to conk out is not a lare one but the irrepareable damage we do to our bodies is completely different. I am not going to kill myself unless I really put the boat out. Instead it just seems it is a long hard road to cancer.

Love you mum
xxx