Art that really SHOCKED me

Before i found out about Amy Winehouse's tragic death on Saturday what I really wanted to write about was what shocked me face to face. There is a lot of art  out there that is supposedly meant to shock. Most of it, in reality, might be amazing art, might be art that I love, but it doesn't shock! Sex is exciting not shocking. Swearing just a part of the every day human language. Religion discussed.... Politics obvious! I must admit, even a water boarding  (torture technique) performance installation at the recent Goldsmiths showcase didn't shock me. It was too obvious, too tacky. What really shocks me is when I feel. When I feel disgusted, uneasy, shocked...at god knows what. When art is the unexpected.
  On saturday I walked in to the White Cube on Hoxton Square for the "Jake or Dinos Chapman" exhibition. A show put on in both White Cube's (I haven't been to Mason's Yard yet - but can't wait) in which the tow brothers have both made art separately from one another for one another but we don't know whose is who. Anyway I walked in and it was busy. There were some interesting paintings on the wall and some intricate sculptures. They didn't really mean anything to me. A mix of contemporary and african art by the looks of it. Fairly fun ... and then I noticed this group of school children at the end of the room. I thought to myself "Odd place for a school trip (they were very small looking - so i assumed must be young) especially on a saturday." And then in struck me. they were all ever so perculiar. Ever so still. Ever so intimidating. They weren't real!
  This made me feel incredibly uneasy. I don't know why. I couldn't stop staring and I hadn't even seen there fronts yet. I walked round and here it becomes obvious they aren't real but there is certainly some sort of life in them. They are a presence. A very REAL presence. I wont tell you about there faces. They aren't normal faces. But you have to go and see. It is the feeling that shocks. It is not the Nazi content or the distortion but just the fact they are there. Quite frankly I can't get over it. The press release has it just right "It is the attack on the body". The body of everyone.

It isn't there in the picture

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to corollate all its contents"

    Dinos Chapman from the book "Nothing they Teach us"

Transcript

Do you feel sick if you can't be with me?
Yes
Do you see me in close up?
Yes
Do you love me?
Obviously
I am sorry.
I don't understand?
Are you in love with me? Please tell me.
You know I am completely in love with you.
Why am I not in love with you anymore? Why are you still in love with me?
Because things like love, desire, wants and needs... they change.
But I used to be in love with you and I don't even know when it stopped.
Probably when you realised there is more to life than love.
But I didn't. I don't think there is. I care about love. I really still want to be in love.
What if I never fall in love again?
You will.
I don't think it is that easy... real love!
Maybe you were never really truly in love with me?
No. No. No. I was very definitely in love with you.
Well ask yourself when was the last time you looked at me and said to your self, fuck I really love this person?
I don't know. Well I do. But the feeling was fleeting and it used to be there all the time. I know when I thought "fuck I love this person" but it isn't the same as thinking "fuck I am in love with tis person and I will be forever and I want nothing else."
I am scared.
Of what?
This.

point of view

My lack of understanding makes me angry.
I want to know everything.
I want to see why and how and know where.
I am not sure whether i am angry with myself for not having the ability to understand, with the world for not teaching me or with the thing that I can't understand... why the fuck do they / it ... have to be like that?
It makes me screw up inside... i want to let my lack of understanding out.
It seems this is impossible becuase I don't understand.

Obsession

I seem to be utterly confused in what i beleive in all the time. Maybe because I believe in both, or becasuI am desperate to understand things. I just am obsessed or seem to be obsessed; everything seems two come down to these two things...

re⋅al⋅i⋅ty  /riˈælɪti/ [ree-al-i-tee]
–noun, plural -ties for 3, 5–7. 1. the state or quality of being real.
2. resemblance to what is real.
3. a real thing or fact.
4. real things, facts, or events taken as a whole; state of affairs: the reality of the business world; vacationing to escape reality.
5. Philosophy. a. something that exists independently of ideas concerning it.
b. something that exists independently of all other things and from which all other things derive.
6. something that is real.
7. something that constitutes a real or actual thing, as distinguished from something that is merely apparent.



fan·ta·sy (fnt-s, -z)
n. pl. fan·ta·sies
1. The creative imagination; unrestrained fancy. See Synonyms at imagination.
2. Something, such as an invention, that is a creation of the fancy.
3. A capricious or fantastic idea; a conceit.
4.
a. Fiction characterized by highly fanciful or supernatural elements.
b. An example of such fiction.
5. An imagined event or sequence of mental images, such as a daydream, usually fulfilling a wish or psychological need.
6. An unrealistic or improbable supposition.
7. Music See fantasia.
8. A coin issued especially by a questionable authority and not intended for use as currency.
9. Obsolete A hallucination.
tr.v. fan·ta·sied, fan·ta·sy·ing, fan·ta·sies
To imagine; visualize.

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I think the two can live hand in hand though. I'm not sure the definitions are quite correct. It's whether the fantasy is genuine, then it's a reality. It isn tmake believe anymore. Someties it's more real.